Shut Up About Your Bloomers and Other Bike Don’ts

Okay, so I’m no Sarah Mirk, but I know you’re already having bike and lady talk withdrawals. No fear! Here’s a great list of don’ts for female cyclists that was published in 1895 in the New York World , dug up by the creative bloggers at Brain Pickings.

— Don’t be a fright.
— Don’t faint on the road.
— Don’t wear a man’s cap.
— Don’t wear tight garters.
— Don’t criticize people’s “legs.”
— Don’t wear loud hued leggings.
— Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.”
— Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
— Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you.
— Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume.
— Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers.
— Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.
— Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.
— Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?”
— Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys.
— Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back.
— Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you.
— Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.
— Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know.
— Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.
— Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty.

I am doing so many things wrong. So much for my long-cultivated “bike face.”