I’ll need a year to recover from this weekend—Bridgetown, as usual, was a laff blast. I lost track of hipster references, cans of PBR consumed, and number of comedians I saw. But here’s one last tally from last night:
Kraken references: 2 (plus 1 “crackin'”)
Holocaust references on Easter Sunday: 6,000,000
Andy Dick-is-missing references: 1 from Festival Organizer Andy Wood. I’m trying to figure out what happened here. It seems Dick might’ve missed his plane and is now wandering the city with his penis tucked up into his taint. Did anyone see him at the Persona show on Friday? Apparently there was a lot of Dick on display.
Alison and I hit up the Iron Comic show at the Bagdad. It was a lot of bang for the buck, with nearly a dozen comedians onstage. Hosts Nato Green and Moshe Kasher corralled the contestants (Hannibal Buress, Kyle Kinane, Emily Heller, Doug Benson, and Baron Vaughn), with a couple acts interspersed between the competition. Kinane won, but he probably shouldn’t have. Hannibal Buress was particularly good and Doug Benson was on fire.
I ended the night at the Eagles Lodge, with a stellar lineup and a packed house of festivalgoers and comedians there for one of the last shows of the weekend. I was looking forward to Jon Daly and hoping to see his Bill Cosby-Bukowski bit, but my sleepy-time tea must’ve kicked in around 11. But Andy Wood and Portlanders Nathan Brannon and Tim Hammer killed it (Hammer had me with his first pun). Nice one, gents.
Now if I can just figure out where Andy Dick is, I can finally get some sleep. ‘Til next year Bridgetown.
Fucking finally. Now I can stop reading the name, “Funches.”
Not only did I see Andy Dick’s horror story of cock and balls and scotch tape… but as an unfortunate (or fortunate depending on your perspective) member of the front row audience… I had Andy Dick’s dick and balls rubbed on my cheek with a good old fashioned unwelcome face humping. I am on a 2 week plan to scrub my face with an alcohol swab once an hour to remove whatever diseases I may have picked up from my attendance to a comedy show.
I heard stories of him being kicked out of some of Portlands least likely to be kicked out of bars like BOG and Sewickly’s Edition. I heard he was even physically removed from the after party by other comedians. As one comedian stated, Andy is proof that it is impossible to be kicked out of show business.
Andy Dick should have died ten years ago. He would have been remembered well for the comedy he did up until then.
COURTNEY I thought you took him home. Did you lose him again ? Gravity works so The dick was seen at Ladd and Dino’s. Since gravity works that means he is now floating in the river.
PS, you’re thinking of Andy Daly as Bill Cosby Bukowski. Jon Daly, is also hilarious, but not the man you are thinking of.