Before he shuffles away from the Mercury Art Director chair forever and starts his lucrative new career, our beloved Justin “Scrappers” Morrison built this incredible Blogtown Wheel of Fun for us to play with. We’ll use it to assign various challenges (as in Worst Night Ever), drunken dares, and maybe even a few contest winners can come in and spin the thing in order to win some valuable-ish prizes. Basically, it’s the most important wooden structure since the cross they hung Jesus on. And it has a cat on it.
Naming a Wheel of Fun is as important as naming a seafaring vessel, and more important than naming a stupid baby, so we need to give this cat a name. Our original idea (“Metaphor for Alison Hallett’s Loneliness”) was too long. Suggest a name in the comment section below and we’ll write the best ones on the wheel and then give it a spin and pick a winner.
Wheels are fun! To see a creepy video of Scrappers demonstrating his creation, click below.
RT = Pussy
Blogtown Wheel of Fun
or Mittens.
“Cheer Up, Loser!”
or “Tail Bang”
Humpy”s Wheel of Shame? Spin if you dare.
“Captain Leslie!” or “Dirty whore-cat says….” or Kitty McKitterpants’ Wheel of Danger” or “Ted Baxter’s house of party” or ‘magic cat ass”
‘Wheel of CATastrophe’
Ugh.
“Frank Cassano Cannot Believe How Stupid This Whole Thing Is Wheel”
“Fuck it, Let’s Go To A Bar”
“Where are my keys?”
“New food carts that take debit cards”
The Pastelltale Cat
Step Right Up and Die
LFOD (Levitating Feline of Doom)
Wheel of Fortunately Humphrey Hasn’t Groped Us Lately
The Decidetrix
Sphere & Loathing
Sphere of Ginfluence.
Circle of Meh
Spin ‘n’ Shit
Destiny’s Plywood Circle
Wheel Genius
Fate Rapist
Jessica Wheel
Wheel Diamond
Get Wheel
Tail Fail
Prognosticat
Dander Planner
Third Prize is You’re Fired*
Determinator III: Prize of the Machines
* Suggest print of Alec Baldwin in center.
Wheel Patrick Harris
The Wheel World: Portland
Gruntl
Adjudicat
Wheel Patrick Harris has won my heart.
And my body.
The Cat Fancier’s Guide to Good and Evil
Scrappers’ Kitty Wheel
Agent Wheel Cooper
The Wheel of Fate (and Catnip)
Bob Loblaw’s Wheel of Blah Blah
Sarah Mirk’s Mirktastic Mirkcycle
Or, yeah, you should probably just go with Wheel Patrick Harris. Well played, Joneser.
Rat Shit Roulette
Wheel of Scrapper
For the wheel, I see 21 segments, so: The D21
For the cat:
Seymour the Wonder Feline
Fortinbras
Killfuck Soulshitter
Der Wheelerkat
Humpy’s Amazing Wheel of Dicks
You’ll have to retrofit it with dildos though.
Old Scrapperaz
Spin and Bare It
The Rusty Nails Memorial Spin-a-ma-jig
Look On My Tail Ye Mighty And Despair
The Spin, Sin, & Bring Steve Some Gin
No Intern No Cry
The Wheel Sell This At The Next Mercury Garage Sale
Wheelus Domesticus
Pussy Control
That Which Would Be Banned From the No Spin Zone
Spinny Kitty
Catticus Maximus
Twirly Puss, Destroyer of Worlds
Cat On A Cold Black Stick
The Paws That Defleshes
If That’s A Cat I’m Paul Sorvino’s Left Nut
I really like the suggestion of “wheel world: portland”.
anyway, my idea is “wheel of fuck-yeah!”
Cat Sajak
Curtis