DON’T FORGET FOLKS! Time is running out to submit your super talented act to audition for PIZZAZZ! — Portland’s funnest talent show, where the winner takes home a cool 1000 bucks! The last day to sign up for auditions is WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17. So if you have a freakishly awesome talent (or a freaky awesome talent), sign up quick, and SIGN UP HERE!

And speaking of freaky awesome talents, I’m not exactly sure the following kid is perfect for PIZZAZZ — but I am sure that he’s perfect for whipping any ass that happens to get in his way. Why?

Because HE’S TYLER WEAVER! HAAAIIII-YAAAAAHHHH! YAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TYLER WEAVER!!!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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