While my colleagues blog from the warm comfort of their homes, I walked to work this morning because I live in the stone ice age and do not have access to the internets at my hacienda.
So, as of now, I’m the only one in the cavernous Merc editorial office for the time being. I know I should be working on a story for Last Supper, but there are a couple things I plan to do while everyone is away:
Play with all of Erik’s cool Battle Star Galactica figurines (he dusts them, like, twice a day and demands that everyone who comes in his office not even LOOK at them).
Look at Wm. Steven Humphrey’s tranny porn collection.
Do a little Tom Cruise Risky Business dance.
Get the vodka out of the freezer and get blasted.
Set traps for thieves, put on aftershave and scream like a little girl.
What else do you think I should do? Any suggestions, Blogtownies?
Pls. clean out the fridge.
Jerk it in broom closet.
Come hang out upstairs with the sales and production teams!
Fire everyone who didn’t come in.
But do it with a sweet note… like…”Dear Ferik Penrickson, you’re services are no longer needed but I still love you and I made you some brownies. Hugs, Patrick.”
Like that.
Take a nap in the podcast room.
Take pictures of your cahones on pretty much EVERY piece of office equipment. BUT, don’t show the pictures till after people have used the stuff.
What Amy said.
Why don’t you get held hostage by Austrian terrorists?
a) Remove all cat and pug likenesses from the premises.
b) ice skate on the roof (after vodka)
c) taint-taint everybody’s mouse
This officially solidifies all previous beliefs that the entire editorial staff are all princesses. Pretty pretty princesses living in muffin kingdoms made of wishes and dreams.
PS: All of distro is “working from home” today as well.
Write some absurd pap overrating a mediocre restaurant.
Hook up a Playboy magazine to some electrodes, feed some Einstein into the computer, and make a super-intelligent woman with a British accent and magical powers.
Omg.
YOUR.
I give up.
Jerk it in the fridge.
Evict Busse. He’s been living in your crawl space for the last couple weeks.