fraser.jpg

From an email forwarded to me moments ago by Erik Henriksen:

BRENDAN FRASER TAKES AIM AT WILLIAM TELL: 3D

Cannes, France — May 9, 2011 [ooh, from the future!-Eds.]— Producer Todd Moyer has announced that Brendan Fraser will take on the title role in the historical family action adventure WILLIAM TELL: 3D, to be shot this fall in Europe… Moyer says, “There is no other actor who is more perfectly suited to be the patriot and family man that is William Tell. Brendan was the driving force behind the movie being shot in 3D. He’s a witty, charming and very likeable action hero, and he really anchors the ensemble cast.”

Sweet! If ever a story cried out to be told in 3D, it is William Tell. I imagine this movie will be 90 minutes straight of arrows flying at the camera. Swooosh! Pschew! Pscheeew! Swwwowwww! Anything less and I will be sorely disappointed.

This announcement caps a true summer of love for Brendan Fraser. This is the fourth film announcement for the star in recent weeks. Fraser’s currently on location in Belfast shooting the “fish heist” comedy WHOLE LOTTA SOLE

I’m gonna stop right there, because while I agree that Whole Lotta Sole is a SUPERBLY CLEVER name for a “fish heist” film, the Mercury Movie-Naming Team quickly convened and came up with a few even better title ideas for you, after the jump.

• Sole Man
• Fish out of Water
• No Trout About It
• Holy Mackerel
• Flounding Father (they travel back in time to meet George Washington)
• Harold and Cod
• It Takes Tuna to Tango
• Raiders of the Lost Shark
• It’s a Koi!
• Hard of Herring
• The World According to Carp
• Starfish Wars
• Terminator 3: Rise of the Sardines
• Are You There, Cod? It’s Me, Mahi-Mahi
• Minnow and Moscowitz
• Robocarp (oh, please, someone make this movie)
• The Seventh Eel
• Guppy the Vampire Slayer
• The Texas Chainsaw Bassacre
• WALL•Eye
• Some Pike it Hot
• Starship Groupers

Your additions, please.

Ned Lannamann is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. He writes about film, music, TV, books, travel, tech, food, drink, outdoors, and other things.

15 replies on “Today in Brendan Fraser News”

  7. This PISSES ME OFF because yours truly JUST RECENTLY made it onto the list that pops up when you search “todd m” on Google, and now this piss-ant so-called producer is trying to get publicity and steal my spot.

    Don’t let it happen! Mention *me* on your blogs and in your tweets and comments, and not Mr. No-I-Won’t-Even-Mention-His-Name.

  9. Requiem for a Bream

    Oldkoi

    Indiana Jones and the Bass Crusade

    Fin City

    The 400 Blowfish

    The World According to Carp

    Crappie Gilmore

    The Bass Menagerie

  10. OK, I see that you guys came up with “World According to Carp” first. I tried to compare the lists, but I’m just TOO UPSET about that Todd M@yer guy and I screwed up.

  12. (oh, and it’s only if you have a Google search box on your Firefox browser. Maybe no one will read these comments and notice what an idiot I am.)

  13. Fishtar

    The Magnificent Salmon

    Waltz with Bichir

    Catfish on a Hot Tin Roof

    Winter’s Bonefish

    Detroit Rockfish City

    Finian’s Rainbow Trout

    Steelhead of State

    The Delta Smelt Force

    Enter the Dragonfish

    Goldfishfinger

    Kokanee, Myself & Irene

    Pike Water For Chocolate

    Piranha & Her Sisters

    Seahorsebiscuit

    What’s Up Tiger Shark?

    Sweet Stickleback’s Baadassssss Song

  15. The Squid Stays In The Picture*

    The Assassination of Jesse James by the Cowfish Robert Ford

    The Art of the Steelhead

    Trout of Africa

    The Squid & The Whale Steal Some Things

    Catch-and-Release Me If You Can

    * I know, not a fish – don’t care.

Comments are closed.