So here’s the deal: We’re giving all Mercury employees a week off, which means you get ONE paper on Thursday, Dec 25 that covers TWO weeks— with double listings, double picks, and double the smartassery—and then you don’t get shit until Thursday, Jan 8. You like that deal? Well… do ya, punk? However, if it makes you feel any better, we promise to blog sporadically with the super-duper important stuff. Don’t ask me what that is. And while we’re on the topic, don’t tell me what that is. We’ll be back in the office on December 31st and blogging the shit out of the internet again. Until that time, have the happiest of holiday seasons, and never EVER ask Batman about his parents.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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