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Jonathan Prime / Universal Pictures

The new romantic comedy Last Christmas explores humankindā€™s greatest question: what if we took George Michaelā€™s song ā€œLast Christmasā€... LITERALLY???!??

When we meet our star, Kate (short for Katerinaā€”sheā€™s a Yugoslavian refugee, of course), played by Emilia Clarke, itā€™s almost Christmas. She had a heart transplant during the previous holiday seasonā€”or ā€œlast Christmas,ā€ if you will. But sheā€™s a mess! We know this because sheā€™s always like: ā€œIā€™m a mess! LOL.ā€

Kate wants to be a singer, but she doesnā€™t even know how to ice skate. She works as an elf at a Christmas store with a woman called Santa (Michelle Yeoh). Kateā€™s mother (Emma Thompson) is also a Yugoslavian refugee, but she canā€™t sleep because of Brexit! Kate meets Tom (Henry Golding) and heā€™s super annoying and sheā€™s really mean to him. Nobody else can see him and he canā€™t be reached by phone and she loves him (she gives him her heart, metaphorically.) But still, she wonders: Who gave her their heart, literally?

Then: a twist! I wonā€™t spoil it for you, but I will say that it has echoes of M. Night Shyamalanā€™s The Sixth Sense, where we discovered at the end that one of the main characters was dead the whole time. Okay, good luck!

This movie is bad. Itā€™s so bad. But whatā€™s great is that if itā€™s even a modest hit, it could inspire a whole cinematic universe of movies loosely based on George Michael songs, and ā€œFather Figureā€ would be weird as hell. Go see Last Christmas!