Love Our Arts & Culture Coverage?
You can help fund it!

Give now
Avatar photo

Elinor Jones

Elinor Jones writes the gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT, as well as movie reviews, and dinosaur stuff. She likes your lipstick.
Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Like a Prayer from a ’90s Movie or a Prayer for Pop Goddesses in Lingerie

Line up, trash pandas! It’s time for your weekly plate of gossip!
Avatar photo by Elinor Jones

Hello, and welcome to another Trash Report! I’m Elinor Jones and it’s so nice to see all of you with what limited vision I have remaining after rubbing my itchy eyes shut in this glorious springtime that is trying to kill me. The next time Democrats have power (IF, lol) they should legalize marriage between […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Bryon Noem’s Huge Balloon Jugs, and Other Sundries

Line up, trash pandas! It’s time for another delicious buffet of gossipy garbage.
Avatar photo by Elinor Jones

Hello, trash panda baby angels, and welcome to another Trash Report. I am Elinor Jones, back from Spring Break vacation and ready to make “person who has been to Japan” into my entire personality. But as much as I enjoyed being away, I have also enjoyed diving back into everything that I missed and immediately […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Tacky Columns, Tacky Shoes, and Zach Braff Said WHAT?!

Hear ye! Hear ye! Gather around for the week’s hottest (and trashiest) gossip!
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello Trash Pandas, and welcome to another Trash Report! I’m Elinor Jones. I’ve gotta make this part short because there’s a lot of shit going down and if I don’t make you giggle about all of it I will simply fade away, Tinkerbell-style. Let’s go.  The People’s Columns In his ongoing rampage to remake the country […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Rashes, Wigs, Zendaya’s Wedding, and Timothee’s Breakfast

Welcome to the only gossip column in town.
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello, hello! Time for another Trash Report. I’m Elinor Jones. The human world—it’s a mess. If we don’t make fun of it I think we become complacent in it? Or at least apathetic. And I, for one, prefer to be regular pathetic, thank you very much. Let’s gossip! Hail to the Rash Donald Trump started […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Love Is Trash (Except, of Course, for Heated Rivalry)

Open up your heart and fill it with gossipy trash with this week’s special Valentine’s edition!
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello my little lovebirds! Welcome to this very special Valentine’s Day edition of the Trash Report. Love is a wonderful feeling, and although this is a very stupid holiday, this column will be extremely layered and complex. I hope you’re ready to access the darkest corners of your heart you’d forgotten even existed. Just kidding! […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

The Trash Report: Ashley Tisdale and the New World Order—Plus Mermaids!

It’s time to take out the trash! (AKA the hottest new gossip of 2026!)
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hi babies! Welcome to the first new Trash Report for 2026. As always, I am your best friend, Elinor Jones. I don’t know about you, but I am not bothering with Dryuary this year. I learned from the events of January 6, 2021 that January is always going to give us a reason to toss a […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

The Trash Report: Clip Show!

Take a trip down garbage memory lane with the best gossip from 2025!
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Happy holidays, Trash Pandas! ‘Tis I, Elinor Jones, coming to you live from the weird vortex between Christmas and New Year’s Day. In the spirit of this being the laziest, dirt-baggiest week of the year, this week’s column is a compilation of my favorite morsels of trash from throughout the year. That’s right friends: it’s […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: The Year In Trash!

Let’s dig through the trash can of 2025 for the year’s hottest gossip.
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello, Trash Pandas! It’s me, Elinor Jones, with a special end-of-the-year Trash Report. This year certainly was something, wasn’t it? To put it in perspective, when the year began, Joe Biden was still the president (remember him?!), and Blake Lively was just entering into litigation with former costar Justin Baldoni stemming from alleged sexual harassment […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: Halle Berry and Sabrina Carpenter Get on the Mic, and A Two Good Men (Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang)

Your weekly can of juicy trash is full.
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello Trash Pandas, and happy December! ’Tis I, Elinor Jones. Christmas has exploded in my home, with decorations that are a combination of vintage keepsakes my mom kept from my childhood and random crap my daughter insisted we buy from Freddie’s. It’s pure chaos and I will love it for the next three weeks and not […]

Posted inThe Trash Report

THE TRASH REPORT: “No Thank You” to Many Garbage Men, “Yes Thank You” to the Trash Pandas

Line up, trash pandas! Your garbage can of gossip awaits.
Avatar photo Elinor Jones

Hello, and welcome back to the Trash Report! Happy Thanksgiving week! Let me start this column with something I’m thankful for, which is that today’s children’s aren’t fed a lot of horseshit about Pilgrims and colonialism, so I don’t have to decorate the house for this holiday, which is one less thing to deal with. […]

Gift this article