The good news? The turkey wasnt dry. The bad news? Grandpa was dead by Christmas.
The good news? The turkey wasn't dry. The bad news? Grandpa was dead by Christmas. skynesher /Getty Images

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

Active hospitalizations have passed the 400 mark today in Oregon, as the Oregon Health Authority reported 1,099 new, positive COVID cases and 10 additional deaths.

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• Starting today, Oregon officially goes into Gov. Brown's state-wide two-week long "freeze"/semi-lockdown, which includes mandatory mask wearing in public spaces, curtailing social interaction, limiting the capacity of grocery stores and pharmacies, restricting restaurants and bars to takeout only, and closing gyms and other indoor recreational facilities. In COVID-stricken Multnomah County, our freeze will last at least four weeks. You can learn more about it here.

• Selfish, insufferable Clackamas County Commissioner Tootie Smith went on Fox News' Tucker Carlson to insist that she's going to defy the governor's orders and stupidly "gather as many friends and family for Thanksgiving as possible." Basically, what Tootie is planning is a "superspreader event," just like the ones the Washington Post calls a "Thanksgiving gathering that could lead to Christmas funerals."

• Speaking of insufferable things, the insufferable Portland Police Union is so adamant about not allowing anyone besides themselves to discipline officers, the city is asking state legislators to draft a bill that would allow Portland to move ahead with the new police oversight board—you know, the one that voters OVERWHELMINGLY approved.

• While Portland voted in favor of progressive ballot measures during the recent election, their choice of candidates leaned further to the right. Abe Asher talks to local activists to find out what we can expect from a more moderate city council that may be intent on upholding the status quo.

• The passage of Multnomah County's universal preschool measure also shows smart planning that could be used to push progressive policies in other parts of the nation. Our Blair Stenvick looks into it deeper.

IN NATIONAL NEWS

• The COVID vaccine manufactured by Pfizer has reached 95 percent efficacy and is ready to be submitted for regulatory approval "within days," according to the company. Note: This is NOT the vaccine that was partially paid for by Dolly Parton... but we'll take what we can get.

• Meanwhile, the FDA has given the go-ahead to a rapid, at-home COVID-19 test which requires a prescription, but can give a result in about 30 minutes. (Don't expect to try one out until spring at the earliest.)

• NATIONAL COVID UPDATES: More than 3 million people are estimated to be infected with the coronavirus; New York schools are shutting down again for the second time starting tomorrow; with nearly 77,000 people hospitalized with the coronavirus, hospitals across the country are quickly getting overwhelmed; and more and more medical professionals are also getting sick from the virus.

• GOP officials in an important Michigan county have backed down from their earlier decision to assist Trump by refusing to certify Biden's win—making this yet another big election loss for our Loser-in-Chief.

• The Trump campaign is blowing $3 million to do a partial recount in two Wisconsin counties where Biden already has an overwhelming lead. MY DUDE, if you keep throwing money away like this, how are you going to bail yourself out of jail after leaving office?

• The Georgia ballot hand recount is almost complete, and... well, whaddaya know? As election officials predicted, it's looking like the first count was, for the most part, right all along.

• Here's a hilarious recounting of how Trump's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, appeared in a Pennsylvania federal court to proclaim election fraud, and made a fucking idiot out of himself.

• In yet another loss for Trump, a federal judge has put a stop to the administration's racist and overwhelmingly cruel policy of deporting immigrant children who cross the border on their own.

• People magazine has declared Michael B. Jordan to be "2020's Sexiest Man Alive." I will not dispute this ruling.

• TONIGHT, Wednesday, November 18, it's the latest I, ANONYMOUS SHOW featuring the wildest anonymous confessions and rants, with hilarious comedy from Amy Miller, Adam Pasi, and Carla Rossi! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW!

• The results are in, and the people have spoken: YOU LOVE GOOD AFTERNOON, NEWS! Never miss a single informative, entertaining post by subscribing HERE.

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• The WEATHER REPORT: More showers with some sunbreaks tomorrow and a high of 50!

• And finally, let's take a little trip down internet memory lane.