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Suzette Smith

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new? I don't know who you are, but I'm with you. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• One person was arrested last night in connection with a fire started at the North Portland police union building during a demonstration protesting the death of Daunte Wright, a Minneapolis Black man who was fatally shot during a traffic stop by Officer Kim Porter—who was also the president of the police union. Suzette Smith was on the ground, and files this report.

• Twenty Portland Police officers will be federally deputized and join a FBI-led task force designed to combat the recent surge of gun violence around the city. Historically, federally deputizing Portland officers hasn't worked out so great for those who enjoy their civil rights—though in this case Portland officers will supposedly have strict boundaries, and can be yanked back at any time. Let's all agree to believe it when we see it.

• It's a millennial dream: being able to TEXT in your food orders! And our Suzette Smith has found such a place with Fulamingo, a Japanese eatery & grocery that serves delish hot lunches as well. Check it out in the latest edition of "Takeout Club!"

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• A new report from from the Capitol Police inspector general shows that police leadership were warned ahead of time that the January 6 domestic terrorists could be dangerous and that officers were told to go easy on the Trumpers.

• Kim Potter, the Minneapolis officer (and police union prez) who shot and killed a 20-year-old Black man, Daunte Wright, has resigned along with Brooklyn Center Police Chief Tim Gannon. Prosecutors are expected to decide today whether they will press charges against Potter, as upwards of 60 protesters were arrested last night as demonstrators continued to clash with police.

• Today in the Derek Chauvin murder trial, the defense is expected to present the testimony of medical experts to somehow prove that an officer putting his full weight on George Floyd's neck for nearly nine-and-a-half minutes somehow didn't lead to his death. Good luck with that!

• Hundreds of large companies, including Starbucks, Target, Google, and Amazon, have signed a statement condemning “any discriminatory legislation” designed to limit the ability to vote. (Which I hope also means "refusing to fund the campaigns of corrupt Republicans.")

• Bernie Madoff, the Wall Street scammer behind the world's largest Ponzi scheme who bilked investors out of $65 billion, has died at the age of 82.

• Twenty years after it first started, President Biden has announced he's ready to withdraw all US troops from Afghanistan by September 11, thereby ending the longest war in American history.

• More trouble for creepy-creep GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz who is under investigation for sex trafficking a minor: His pal/cohort Joel Greenberg is reportedly spilling his guts to the feds in an apparent bid to shorten any future prison sentence. UH-OH!

• In an interview with GQ, pop star Justin Bieber revealed that in his younger days, his drug problem was so bad, his bodyguards would check his pulse as he slept to make sure he hadn't died.

• Hey Bachelor nation! Former bachelor Colon Underwood, who appeared on the 2018 season of The Bachelorette, has come out as gay. You may now resume all your regularly scheduled activities.

• Woot! Woot! The Portland Mercury's PIZZA WEEK is back, and kicking off Monday, April 19! Check out all the slices you can score for a measly $2 each! (Whole pies are available, too!)

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• HELLO, STONERS! You will be pleased to know that SPLIFF—the short flick film festival about cannabis and all things "stoned"—is kicking off April 16-24 and you can get your tickets NOW. (So hurry up before you forget... because you know you will.)

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: The heat cranks up to a balmy 75 today with sunny skies!

• And finally, some say that first graders shouldn't commit to relationships so soon... I say they don't commit SOON ENOUGH!