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Young activists are walking out of school and work tomorrow to bring attention to local climate villains.
Young activists are walking out of school and work tomorrow to bring attention to local climate "villains." Isabella Garcia

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Get ready for a long, dry, and mostly sunny weekend starting tomorrow with highs topping 75 on Sunday. All together now... WHOOP! WHOOP! Now let's dip into some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• This week's election fuck-up in Clackamas County continues to get even more fucked up, as County Clerk Sherry Hall (the person responsible for fucking it up) announced that the effort to fix her vote-counting fuck-up could be extended to mid-June, and right up until the date when the law decrees all votes must be counted. Oh, oh, OH, and she refused to apologize for her fuck-up as well! (Wonder if she's also fucked up her chances of being re-elected in November?)

• Do not forget that TOMORROW activists have scheduled a walkout from school and work to bring attention to the four “climate villains” in Portland who they say are hindering the city’s climate goals. (And the identities of some of these "villains" may surprise you. Find out who they are in our story from Isabella Garcia.)

• Today in THAT'S NOT FAIR: Unlike practically every other industry, cannabis growers aren't given the same kind of worker protections (for reasons that may be obvious... but that don't make it right!). Abe Asher digs into some cannabis workers in Gresham who are hitting roadblocks when it comes to unionization.

• Former Oregon gubernatorial candidate Nick Kristoff—whose campaign was scuttled after it was determined he didn't meet the state's residency requirements (ha-ha-ha)—has endorsed Democrat Tina Kotek to be the state's governor. Meanwhile, Democratic traitor Betsy Johnson (who's running as an "independent") is setting herself up to be a spoiler in the election and is raking in big bucks from a number of sources, including a $1 million (!!) donation from ex-Nike leader Phil Knight.

• This week in the super fun POP QUIZ PDX: Gaaaaaah! What the freak is that GIANT FREAKING MUTANT RABBIT?? (Plus romance novelists who moonlight as murder suspects, creepy fast food night managers, and more! Oh yeah... and a FREE PIZZA contest!) 🐰😱

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• It's taken awhile (no thanks to Senator Rand "Shit Head" Paul), but the Senate has finally approved a $40 billion aid package to Ukraine, which was only a taste of the bad news Vladimir Putin received today, as he began to punish his military commanders who have failed to invade parts of Ukraine in a timely fashion, and learned that the bodies of Russian soldiers have been found littering the city of Kharkiv.

• Oklahoma's Republican lawmakers have approved the strictest anti-abortion bill in the country, which would ban all abortions STARTING AT FERTILIZATION, while also deputizing citizen whack-jobs to help them enforce it.

• The January 6 committee is now turning their gaze to Republican Rep. Barry Loudermilk who led right-wing Capitol building tours on the eve of the domestic terrorist attack—and they want answers.

• Today in 🙄:

• This tracks: "Michigan election chief says Trump suggested she be arrested for treason and executed."

• As COVID infections continue to rise across the nation, the CDC announced today they are advising parents of children from the ages of 5 to 11 to get their kids a Pfizer booster.

• And finally... just a reminder that there are still some super great things about this world. For example....

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