AT LAST. After an entire year of waiting—you’ve been so patient!—the Portland Mercury’s Burger Week is almost here!

From Monday August 7-Saturday August 12, at over 40 of Portland’s finest restaurants, you’ll find one-of-a-kind burgers that exist only for the Mercury’s Burger Week! And even better? Each of these wondrous creations will cost a mere $5!

Will this be one of the greatest weeks of your burger-eating life? Damn straight it will.
Thanks to the Mercury and our friends at New Seasons Market, Jim Beam, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Satchel, and and ReachNow, this will be a week long remembered.

Read on for the mouth-watering descriptions of 2017’s Burger Week offerings in SE Portland from Spirit of 77, Delicious Donuts, Biwa, and Doug Fir.

Check out the full 2017 Burger Week map here.

Spirit of 77: Keith Hernandez’s Mustache
This year’s Burger Week “genius-in-marketing” award goes to the folks at Spirit of 77, who assumed that by naming their offering after a man’s facial hair they’d attract only the most discerning sando-fans. Well, we’re foiling the ruse. Go Google a photo of all-star first baseman Keith Hernandez and zoom in on that ‘stache. Squint a bit, and there in the bristly bounty, you’ll see pork ribs slathered in zingy sauce, topped with pickles and onions, and jammed into a hoagie roll. Zoom harder, squint more, and suddenly there you are, eating this masterpiece with immense satisfaction. Spirit of 77 calls this its answer to the McRib. It is so much more than that. 500 NE MLK; burger available Mon-Sat 3 pm-10 pm

Delicious Donuts: 3 Pigs Breakfast Burger
Big, bad wolves rejoice! The 3 Pigs Breakfast Burger will have you huffin’, puffin’, and blowin’ down the door of Delicious Donuts (but please don’t, it’s a family establishment). Celebrate the physical incarnation of your most gluttonous desires this Burger Week with the three squealers—sausage, ham, and bacon—and American cheese, egg, and hashbrowns, all sandwiched between grilled, glazed raised donuts. This raconteur of a burger knows it’s challenging hallowed breakfast tradition, but asks—nay, insists—that it be the most important meal of your day (and maybe even your life). Succumb to the 3 Pigs Breakfast Burger, and perhaps you will find true happiness. 12 SE Grand; burger available Mon-Sat 5 am-2 pm

Biwa: Instagram Burger
A burger so good you won’t be able to stop yourself from hopping on Insta to show it off to everybody (#foodporn #burgergoals). You’ll definitely get a lot of likes. Biwa, Southeast Portland’s hip Japanese restaurant and cocktail bar, is making the Instagram Burger for Burger Week: It’s a classic summer burger with goat cheese, colorful heirloom tomatoes, and fresh handmade pickle slaw. In other words? The Instagram Burger perfectly highlights the smell and flavors of the summer garden lifestyle, no filters needed. 215 SE 9th; burger available Mon-Sat 11:30 am-2 am

Doug Fir Lounge: Smoke N Fry Burger
Of all the magically delicious famous food pairings, the burger and fry top our list. And while others are trying to fix what’s not broken with outrageously innovative burgers, Doug Fir is upping their Burger Week game by going back to basics. How you ask? They’re combining burgers and fries in an unforgettably delicious tryst. Starting with a hand-pressed Angus Beef patty, the delectable Smoke N Fry burger is topped with slow-smoked onion fry sauce—smoked daily at the restaurant—and a thick-cut, seasoned waffle fry. Add a few more classically delectable burger compliments—a perfect slice of cheddar and shredded lettuce—and you’ve got yourself a burger done right. 830 E Burnside; burger available Mon-Sat 7 am-3 pm and 5 pm-sold out

And don’t forget…

• Be patient. Everyone loves Burger Week, which means there will be lines. It’s all part of the Burger Week experience—and if a burger sells out, you can always come back tomorrow.
• Tip, and tip well. Feeding Portland’s burger-crazed hordes is tough, thankless work—so make sure to show your appreciation to the brave chefs, wait staff, and bartenders who make Burger Week happen!
• Drink (and eat) up. While burgers are the integral part of Burger Week, all our Burger Week restaurants have other excellent offerings—drinks, sides, salads, and more! Humans cannot survive on burgers alone. (Trust us, we’ve tried. RIP, Ben.)
• Be social. Hit portlandburgerweek.com, use #portlandburgerweek, and check out the Mercury’s Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for updates, details, and reviews of the best Burger Week burgers—from this year’s most eagerly anticipated creations, to the unexpected ones that everyone will have to try.

Burger Week 2017 is almost here. Godspeed.