Last August, I fractured my wrist and tore some cartilage in my hand. The particularly shitty thing about this kind of injury is that it can take months to heal—in my case, the estimated recovery time is about a year—and there’s hardly anything I can do about it, other than physical therapy exercises, hefty doses of ibuprofen, and guided meditation podcasts (to help deal with the spontaneous rage that comes from constant discomfort). These days, the pain comes and goes, but when it’s here, it’s hellish; sometimes it shoots up my forearm like sparks off a live wire, and sometimes it’s dull, like there’s an evil little snake constricting my wrist. Having a desk job hasn’t helped, and the winter months have been especially brutal (I finally get why old people migrate to Florida). I’ve had some dark moments, like when the 127 Hours amputation scene didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Over the first couple of months, I unconsciously began drinking more to help distract myself from how much it hurt. But I’m from a family of Irish alcoholics, so that seemed like a dangerous road to continue down. I was hesitant about becoming dependent on any substance—self-medicating makes me nervous—but needed some way to subdue the pain. I decided to try edibles, because I could closely monitor and control the dosage. Plus, a lot of the products on the cannabis market are specifically crafted for people with chronic pain. I knew what I wanted: something I could take right after work, since my wrist would be tired from typing all day, that would give me a light body high without making me too loopy or sleepy. These are five of the edibles I tried, ranked in order of how well they met these qualifications.
(PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor. I have a doctor—he looks like Rivers Cuomo and has very soft hands. I can’t promise that any of these will cure what ails you, and you should probably see a medical professional before self-medicating.)
5) Grön Dark Chocolate Bite (70 mg THC/0 mg CBD)
I ate this Grön bite because I wanted chocolate and for my wrist to stop hurting and it’s just what my former roommate (a weed chemist) had sitting in our freezer at the time. It was delicious—salty, sweet, rich chocolatey goodness—but when it activated about an hour later, I felt unhinged. It gave me the kind of mind-racing high that can only be escaped by sleeping for 14 hours straight. It’s my own fault—I should’ve read the label and thought, “Huh, that seems like a lot of THC.” At least it distracted me for an evening, I guess. If you have a high tolerance and want your brain to be thinking about 12 different things at once, then sure, go for it.
4) Periodic Edibles CBD Sea Salt Caramels (20 mg THC/35 mg CBD per container, four servings)
This didn’t do much for me—unless you have a super low tolerance, you’d probably have to eat a lot to feel anything. It’s pretty yummy for weed caramel, but it still tastes like weed caramel, and I really didn’t want to eat more than one serving. (Honestly, I probably didn’t feel anything because half the dose got stuck between my teeth.) Plus, it hardens in an unappetizing way, so it’s not really great for leftovers.
3) CBD Apothecary Extra Strength Harle-Tsu Capsules (2 mg THC/40 mg CBD)
These just hit the recreational market—they’re organic, fractionated coconut oil in vegan gel caps, and they aren’t joking about the extra strength thing. CBD’s great if you want to avoid the psychoactive effects of THC. One capsule gave me an intense body high that made me feel like a personified potato. It was cool, but probably a little too much for everyday use. Also, I woke up the next morning feeling kind of dazed, which isn’t the best way to start the day.
2) Piqmiup Cannabis Tea, Lemon and Jasmine Harmony Sativa Blend (15 mg THC/0 mg CBD per bag)
Although the spelling of “Piqmiup” offends the very core of my being, this tea is delightful. Each box comes with three fancy pyramid-shaped loose-leaf teabags that smell like summer, sunshine, and happiness. The name seems to suggest it’s a morning tea, but I picked the Lemon and Jasmine Harmony Sativa Blend because I didn’t want to be knocked out at the end of the workday (though the Berry White and Lavender Indica blend and the White Peony, Kaffir Lime Leaves, and Lemongrass Hybrid blend sound equally delicious). It’s a slow burning high—I like going the tea route if I just want to sip casually while I’m hanging out at home.
1) Wyld Raspberry Sativa Gummies (4 mg THC/0 mg CBD)
Okay, Wyld’s gummies are AMAZING. I love them, and I would like to have them on my person at all times. There are 12 in every box, and (not that the exterior is important) the packaging is gorgeous—it reminds me of those tins of La Vie de La Vosgienne hard candy. I always get the Raspberry Sativa Gummies; they’re sweet, sour, and incredibly delicious. Someday I want to try Wyld’s other flavors—Marionberry Indica, Pomegranate THC/Indica Hybrid, and Strawberry CBD—but I’m too in love with the way the Raspberry Sativa makes me feel to stray from my routine. One gummy gives me a gentle jolt of energy, with exactly the right kind of body high. Ideal time to take them: If you’re looking to alleviate pain, but also want to go outside and walk around in the sun.