Last weekend, some mysterious animal rights gang stole Fiona Petra ‘s rabbits from their cozy outdoor hutches. WHAT. All they left behind was a short rather condescending note: “I’m sure you care about your bunnies, but for whatever reason are unable to provide proper housing at this time. They will be given a roomy home […]
Crime
Anarchists Smash North PDX Bank Window
Faith Cathcart/The Oregonian According to the Portland Police Bureau, several holes were punched in the pane glass windows of a NE 18th and Alberta Street Umpqua bank early this morning. While there has yet to be solidified suspect information, KPTV received an email from a group of self-labeled anarchists this morning, fessing up to the […]
To the Asshole Who Broke In to My Car Last Night…
Okay, I get it. You’re robbing me. You’re looking for something, anything of value. But did you have to make such a fucking mess? Honestly, the contents of my glove compartment were so evenly distributed around the cabin, it seemed almost by design… like you were topping a pizza. I mean, it must have taken […]
Crimesville: “Saw” (Not the Movie)
The Portland Police Bureau is reporting that yesterday afternoon a man stole the idea for my Halloween costume. Apparently a deranged person was spotted walking around waving a hacksaw and trying to cut random things with it. (Thought of it first.) Police responded to the 911 call from the Silver Dollar Pizza on 225 NW […]
Update on Gun-Toting Occupier
Multnomah County Wondering what happened to the man wielding a gun yesterday afternoon at Occupy Portland? After being taken into custody for carrying a gun after engaging in a fight on the Occupy Portland grounds, 32-year-old Jason Charles Parker (a concealed handgun license holder) was released this morning from Multnomah County Jail. According to the […]
This Week’s Best Letter from Prison
Nothing excites us more here at the Mercury than to receive a letter from someone in prison. I feel I don’t have to explain this. Here’s this week’s best “Letter from Prison” from “Butterknife Dave,” currently serving time at the Columbia River Correctional Institution—a minimum security prison located in deep northeast Portland. Dear Portland Mercury, […]
B Movie Bingo Tonight!
Wolf Choir‘s B Movie Bingo series continues tonight at the Hollywood Theatre with American Hunter, a 1990 Indonesian hard-boiled crime thriller starring Robert Mitchum’s kid. What’s it about? I’ll let the official synopsis on the Hollywood’s site do the talking, as it does a much better job than I ever could (emphasis mine): In American […]
The Most Absurd and Terrible Killing Spree
I’ve been following the coverage of the tragic disappearance and murder of Portland area 19-year-old Cody Myers, but today’s news adds several new, disturbing details to the case. White supremacist and suspected murderer David Pedersen summoned a reporter to his Northern California jail cell and told her that he had killed his father, stepmother, and […]
Sexual Assault Reported at Occupy Portland Camp
The Portland police are investigating a sexual assault that allegedly occurred at the Occupy Portland camp on Friday night. According to protester D. Jackson, after the victim reported the assault to Occupy organizers, they pressured the suspect to leave the scene immediately. The assault was reported to police and there are activists at the camp […]
Pug Bandit Hits PDX
kittiefae It’s not what you think. The Portland Police Bureau is on the hunt for the “Pug Bandit” — not a dog thief, but a man who robbed two Southeast Portland banks. On both occasions — one on Sept. 16, the other on 22— the man said he had a bomb on him. This proved […]
BREAKING: Powell’s Union Says Worker May Have Embezzled $50,000 in Union Cash
Thomas James The Powell’s workers union has asked the federal Department of Labor to launch an investigation into the bookkeeping of its former secretary/treasurer Britta Duncan. At its member meeting last night, the ILWU Local 5 leadership told the bookshop employees that the new treasurer, who started last spring, quickly noticed errors and strange issues […]
Re: SpongeBob Down… Now with Video!
My earlier post about an “incident” involving two women and SpongeBob SquarePants didn’t have a lot of detail at the time—but now? WE HAVE VIDEO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Gossip site TMZ provides the following clip which shows the two women getting into a squabble with, and then, opening up a can of non-porous whup-ass on […]
