My earlier post about an “incident” involving two women and SpongeBob SquarePants didn’t have a lot of detail at the time—but now? WE HAVE VIDEO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Gossip site TMZ provides the following clip which shows the two women getting into a squabble with, and then, opening up a can of non-porous whup-ass on SpongeBob. Though I normally detest violence, I think I’m siding with the gals on this one. (Also stick around for when the cops make the three stand spread-eagle against a fire engine! You will not see anything more priceless all day!)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey

Not a fire engine.
i fapped
Bob really should’ve been watching where he was sticking that nose. USC girls don’t take any shit.
I thought Fat Green Lantern was gonna stop the fight, but I guess he was just picking up garbage off the street. How the Corps has fallen!
Sad thing is that “Spongy Spanger” was just trying to scrape up enough green to go across the street and get some hot wings at Hooters. The food in jail just ain’t as good, and neither is the view.
Grab that bitch, Patrick!
fire engine?
Best line. “You’re not SpongeBob.”
I WILL ALLOW IT.
Spongebob you got owned Biatch