Destination Fun

Bikini Bash It’s a shorter haul than to the good river spots, plus it’s got music! This August, combine your party in the sun with some booty shakin’ at the latest all ages venue in town: The Portland Pool Party! Every Sunday, local independent musicians will play while you splash around, eat good old barbecue […]

Boobs, Bumpers, and B-boys What do bikini contests, import car drag races, and breakdancing competitions have in common? They’re all going down at the Import Motion Summer Jam. This car show is sure to give your impotent grandpa a huge old-person boner. We’re talking 300 tricked-out sports compacts, and the auto enthusiasts who love them […]

Hunka-Hunka Burning Poo-Flinger “He turned my stomic (sic). He is a pig and that’s too good for him.” “Very Sad. Elvis deserves better than that… it is an outrage.” “HE IS A DIGRACE TO HUMANITY, NAKED FAT SLOB I CANT BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS CRAP GO ON. THIS ASSHOLE EVEN BREATHS AIR.” The […]

The 2nd Annual Mrs. Portland Mercury Beauty Contest “Beauty” is a term not easily defined. Is it a combination of perfectly symmetrical features on top of a nice rack? Or does “beauty” come from within; shining forth in the form of a sparkling, radiant personality that almost makes one forget there’s a nice rack underneath? […]

We Like the Sky, the Sky that Goes Boom So, we’re not going to have any mass insurrections or coups or anything this Fourth of July, right? I mean, if we were, someone would probably have let me know right? I’m just going to assume that everyone will be eating “not dogs” and wearing bug […]

Eat That, Dogtown! In 1983 when Michael Jackson took the stage at a Motown anniversary and unveiled the “moonwalk,” it was as if pop music had suddenly been released from the normal rules of physics and friction. In his short film, “The Art of Weightlessness,” Brooklyn-based film producer DB Griffith brings this same sense of […]

Kumari’s Hiphop Intensive Kumari Lohar-Singh puts her love of fashion design first, but you wouldn’t know it from watching her dance. A Vancouver native, Kumari has spent the last two years in Philadelphia and New York in design school. While there, she developed her dancing skills by learning and practicing hiphop, breaking, locking, and more […]

Free Fishin’ Weekend Sensitive souls like you and I don’t hunt anymore because the sad look in Bambi’s big brown eyes breaks our tender little hearts! And I won’t even go into the adverse psychological effects of puppy bow hunting. The good news? Killin’ fish is still a fun outdoors activity, and relatively guilt-free. Even […]

Free Fishin’ Weekend Sensitive souls like you and I don’t hunt anymore because the sad look in Bambi’s big brown eyes breaks our tender little hearts! And I won’t even go into the adverse psychological effects of puppy bow hunting. The good news? Killin’ fish is still a fun outdoors activity, and relatively guilt-free. Even […]

2003 TapeOpCon Music “conferences” like SXSW seem so dirty to me. Ostensibly created to give unsigned bands a chance to play in front of indie label owners, the event quickly became co-opted by the very music industry it seemed intent on circumventing. I mean, the 2003 SXSW conference featured a TRADE SHOW, for chrissake. Because […]

Help the Dykes, Wear a Dress The Dykes need your help! That’s right; without your support, hundreds of Dykes might not be able to participate in this year’s Annual Dyke March (Saturday, June 14). That’s why we’re ordering you to do your part AND look pretty while you’re doing it. This Thursday is a very […]

Bowlers Against Sexism It’s benefit season again, and if you’re like me, you feel more generous when the people involved are funny, smart, and kick-ass. And one of the funnest events this week has got to be Strike Out Sexism!–an all-evening bowl-a-thon hosted by Portland State’s Women’s Resource Center (WRC), with all the money going […]