Holiday Guide 2023

Folks, the holiday season has officially arrived and it’s time to welcome the CHAOS! Busy at work? Well, that’s too fucking bad… because THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! Got some personal problems and you need just a little time and space so you can work it all out? HAHAHAHA-HAAAAA, that’s rich… because the motherfucking HOLIDAYS ARE […]

I love giving and receiving gifts, but there’s always this middle ground of friends, family, or colleagues who are so hard to shop for. In the face of gifting mental block, I say get them something good to eat. Literally no one is mad to receive a bottle of nice olive oil, or an array […]

Three days before Thanksgiving 2020, I was in my apartment in North Carolina, a semester or so away from graduating college. I had planned to spend the holiday doing everything in the New York Times article “How to Pretend You’re in Paris Tonight.” I would watch ballet on the Opéra National de Paris Youtube channel, […]

Portland is a mecca for coffee lovers, and if the fall season is any indicator, there’s going to be lots to love in a mug this holiday season. Whether you’re stepping into your basic bitch era while clutching a can’t-miss offering in a red cup å la Big Coffee or snuggling up to drinks from […]

Depending on your profession, you get approximately 11 federal holidays per calendar year. And ever since I was old enough to be bored, I knew I didn’t want to spend them with my family. It also helps that my family are the scattering type; they don’t want to see me either. We hang out when […]

What to do about the big jolly guy in the room? With the world what it is (bad), the decision on whether or not to have children is a big one, and one that should not be made lightly. Because guess what? After you make that initial decision, you’re immediately faced with a bunch MORE […]

What’s considered holiday food by the Jewish diaspora probably has as many answers as there are members of the Jewish diaspora, but a recurring theme are meat-heavy mid-century mains that at least vaguely conform to a kosher diet. This is largely thanks to the many European emigres who passed through the East Coast deli zone […]

On the morning of November 27, 2010, Portlanders woke up to disturbing news: someone, the FBI said, had tried to bomb the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony at Pioneer Courthouse Square.  According to federal law enforcement officials, the suspect, Mohamed Osman Mohamud, was arrested in a sting operation after trying to detonate a car bomb […]

Choosing a present for a white elephant gift exchange is a daunting endeavor. Historically, the term “white elephant” (which apparently originates from royal gift-giving customs surrounding real white elephants in Southeast Asia) has referred to unwanted possessions that are difficult to get rid of. Wrap your shit up in red and green wrapping paper and […]

Whether it’s the dedicated souls working the projector at a local movie theater, front desk staff at a hotel, back of house staff at any number of restaurants, or the seasoned barkeep making small talk while pouring liquor, for many workers, Christmas is “just a normal day” as one hotel employee put it. So who […]

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