At a recent rally, Bernie sprouted tree branches from his back so he could share apples with all in attendance. a katz / Shutterstock.com Poor Bernie Sanders — he’s still trailing way behind Hillary Clinton, even though he keeps winning states, and even though a lot more people hold a favorable opinion of him than […]
Politics
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According to Advocates, Oregon Women Lose More Than $4 Billion Annually to Pay Inequality
One American dollar. Or, if you’re a woman, 79 cents. Paulprescott72 According to a report released today by the National Partnership for Women & Families: On average, Oregon women employed full time, year round are paid just 82 cents for every dollar paid to men – a yearly pay gap of $8,393. That means, in […]
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Let Us All Rejoice in What a Lousy Time Trump’s Been Having Lately
It seems really likely now that Trump will be unable to make the delegate minimum. Action Sports Photography / Shutterstock.com How’s your day going so far? Not so good? (Mondays, ugh.) Well perhaps it will cheer you a bit to know that Donald Trump’s day is probably going worse. And it’s not just one or […]
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Don’t Worry, Ladies, Donald Trump Is Here to Protect You (From Your Own Vagina)
America needs a Commander in Chief who understands that the correct length of a necktie is long enough to tap you right on your taint. Crush Rush / Shutterstock.com “I have so many women that really want to have protection, and they like me for that reason,” Trump said yesterday at diner. What are you […]
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Bernie Sanders Allies Criticize His Campaign’s Failures, Including a Lack of Early Outreach to Black Voters
Eli Sanders
Didn’t focus on reaching out to black voters until way too late in the game. Crush Rush / Shutterstock.com This New York Times article exploring the failures of the Bernie Sanders campaign groups them into three major areas: 1) A failure to take his own campaign seriously early on. 2) A failure to directly point […]
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Homosexual Sympathizers Infiltrate GOP Platform Committee; Republicans & Queers Equally Aghast
Here’s Phyllis Schlafly endorsing Donald Trump, so you know she’s definitely got her wits about her. R. Gino Santa Maria / Shutterstock.com As if Republicans don’t have enough to fight about already, a bunch of rich gays/allies are poking their rainbow noses into the party platform, trying to get the party to be ever-so-slightly less […]
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Democrats Should Draft Taylor Swift to Clear Republican Supreme Court Logjam
Don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch the Supreme Court nomination hearings if they were hosted by Taylor and called “SWIFT JUSTICE.” Shutterstock Quick update on the United States Supreme Court: The good news is we still have one! The bad news is one of the nine members is still an empty chair. But the other […]
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Hillary Clinton Has Yet to Land the Coveted Susan Sarandon Endorsement
Dammit, Janet. a katz / Shutterstock.com Hey, look, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to make up your mind about who to vote for, so you turn to people you trust for their guidance. And we all have different standards for deciding whom we should trust, so some of us turn to business leaders; some […]
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One Hundred and Forty-Seven FBI Agents Are Investigating Hillary Clinton’s E-mails
That’s a fuckton of FBI agents. GOP.Gov The Washington Post has a massive story out today diving into Hillary Clinton’s private e-mail scandal—that’s the Post‘s word—including this revelation regarding the FBI investigation into whether crimes were committed and whether her server was hacked: One hundred forty-seven FBI agents have been deployed to run down leads, […]
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Trump’s Foreign Policy Advisors are Basically From Another Planet
Imagine what Leni Riefenstahl could have done with this. a katz / Shutterstock.com There are some real wackos giving Donald Trump advice on foreign policy. Shocking, I know. Trump revealed a few of his advisors’ names this week, and they’re wackos—or, at least, we THINK they’re wackos. It’s hard to be sure. Mostly everyone’s just […]
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Every Presidential Candidate Is Sure the Brussels Attacks Prove Them Right
Thanks for not calling for racial profiling, Democrats. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com The worst part of the attacks in Brussels is the horrible killing and injuring of innocent people. No question — there is nothing more heart-wrenching than the suffering of those people and their families and friends. The second worst part is how politicians […]
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Republicans Too Dysfunctional to Pass Terrible Budget
Do you realize how much Easter vacation time you’d get if you worked here? U.S. Congress/Shutterstock Are you looking forward to your Easter break? You DO get two weeks off of work for Easter, don’t you? Wait, you don’t? Well that must mean you don’t work for Congress, where our “hard-working” “leaders” are supposed to […]