Okay, how about this? Instead of World Cup fans playing those super-annoying, droney Vuvuzela thingies, we’ll just pump this version of “Flight of the Bumblebees” over the loudspeakers.EVERYBODY’S HAPPY!
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Today in Instantaneous Ass-Clenching
For reasons unknown, John Travolta is seen in the following clip serenading the Australian Socceroos (cute name) soccer team with his hilariously awkward rendition of “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease. If you have anything breakable near your ass, please move it out of the way, because your cheeks are about to slam […]
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And Now the Lego Version of the World Cup
Since I was happily awake at 7am this morning watching Côte d’Ivoire take on Portugal, I guess this means I have a slight case of World Cup Fever—it sure beats Bieber Fever—which I caught during the thrilling USA/England match this weekend. While that game was fun for everyone not named Robert Green, it’s even better […]
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Vuvuzelas Are Here to Stay
The 2010 FIFA World Cup started less than a week ago but there has already been controversy brewing. Today FIFA president Sepp Blatter announced that vuvuzelas (pronounced voo-voo-ZAY-luhs) would not be banned from the World Cup games in South Africa. Both players and fans have been complaining about the constant droning of the vuvuzelas, loud […]
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World Cup Matches Galore and a New Timbers Logo . . . It Was a Busy Soccer Weekend.
To begin with, there was Bafana Bafana’s Siphiwe Tshabalala scorcher starting the party off right . . . France and Uruguay putting up a total snoozer . . . Dark horse South Korea making themselves known against a messed up Greece . . . Maradona’s Argentine boys taking it to Nigeria . . . Keeper […]
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World Cup Primer
What everyone is playing for. So today’s print version of the Mercury has a handy clip ‘n’ save guide to places to watch the World Cup but I thought I’d add some additional fun and informative resources to follow all the kicking and running happening in South Africa for the next four weeks. There’s 32 […]
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Where I’ll Be Watching The World Cup
I’ll be watching the World Cup awesomeness in HD at The Cantina with Daft Punk, Noel Gallagher, Han Solo, David Beckham, Franz Beckenbauer, Snoop Dogg, and maybe Greedo. Though sometimes Greedo can be a total jerkwad. Hat tip to The Offside Rules.
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World Cup Merchandise You Must Have!
LoveHoney Scoregasm! Oh, England. Via the excellent Marina Hyde at The Guardian: The England Scoregasm. Where to begin with this wildly uncalled-for sex aid? Perhaps with the blurb, which informs us: “It’s the remote control love egg that shows you’re a true fan.” Do go on. “The remote control works from up to 10m away,” […]
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GUYS! My Fave Hockey Announcer Ever, GUYS!
Guys! Meet Charlie Clinton, guys! The most charming hockey announcer you guys will ever see, guys! I could watch this guy for the rest of my life, and never be sad or disappointed, guys! GUYS! Is this thing on? GUYS??
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Meat, the Competition
There’s a new sex columnist in town… Look out, Dan Savage. Your new competition in the sex advice business is a middle-aged, married, straight dude who used to spend $200,000 a year on steroids. Bill Romanowski, the same Bill Romanowski who played linebacker for six seasons with the San Francisco 49ers and two years with […]
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The Art of The World Cup
via BuzzFeed Oh Say Can You See . . . So yes, this World Cup is coming. It’s a big deal that millions and millions and, oh, a couple more millions of people are getting incredibly excited for and it arrives June 11. I’ve got a little primer in the works for teams to keep […]
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Timbers on the Radio and the Interwebs, Champions League on the Telly . . .
The Portland Timbers are off to the East Coast for some much needed road trip bonding time and a special team sponsored scavenger hunt that involves finding their offense. They take on Crystal Palace Baltimore, a team that is evidentially some kind of feeder for Crystal Palace FC in England. The Timbers fell to the […]