by Karen Green Lemongrass is hot. They rate their spiciness from one to 20–but don’t even think of ordering anything in the double digits. I’ve watched my tongue shrivel up and fall off after doing battle with a dish rated at a pathetic five. On one of many occasions the owner explained the rating system […]
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Ode to the Oyster
Dan and Louis Seduces Your Mouth
Dan & Louis Oyster Bar 208 SW Ankeny 227-5906 The oyster. People either love it or they hate it. The slithery, gelatinous texture; the salty, seawater taste; the cocktail sauce and horseradish to dress it. Personally, I love the oyster. It’s raw and wet and completely unprocessed; the evidence is the barnacle-coated shell. Plus, oysters […]
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Con-Fusion
La Bella Nonna Flounders
In Portland, you can look through the window of a restaurant and know if it’s any good. Pambiche is constantly overflowing with people, at the Delta you have to wait a half-hour during the week, and La Bonita always has at least a few tables filled. One of my friends thinks this is because Portlanders […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Do I Have Rats? It is true that most people who have rats are sad sacks with sick habits, no education, and questionable sexual practices. However, there ARE some people who, regardless of their status, home environment, and hygiene practices–through a series of cosmic jokes and poor luck–can still suffer the indignities of a vermin […]
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Simple Satisfaction
The John Street: Fresh and Clean
Sometimes you just want to eat normal stuff. No cheese-logged chile rellenos, no mammoth steaks, no burgers with fries dripping in grease, no vegan salad dressing; just the basics preserved in their natural state, like old people eat. Well, regular old food is the specialty at the John Street Café. Sandwiches come with a healthy […]
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Two Steps From Japan
Sushi Heaven Just A Few Stops Away
by Nicole Warren Sushi used to scare me. The first time I ate it, I was riding a train in Japan and my choice was either some long, white, giant sperm-looking tentacles (squid) or what seemed to be part of a white and purple tire (octopus). Not a good introduction. However, I had no choice […]
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Stealing Food Samples
Fun, Rewarding, Filling
by Liam Singer Shakespeare once wrote, “Methinks there is nothing better than free food / except, perhaps, for a hypothetical kind of free food / that doth also be stuffed full of cigarettes and pornography.” While Shakespeare’s “dream food” is not yet a reality, free food is all around us in tiny, sample-sized pieces. Walking […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Should I Be Alarmed? Many people go through life even-tempered and reasonable. These people are NOT WELL. Sometimes, it is appropriate–even desirable–to panic. But when? Want to know when you should be concerned? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out. Good luck! T F My car’s “brake fluid” indicator light has been on for […]
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A Miniature Wonderland
Tabla: Not for the Truly Hungry
We are a nation of individual excess. We crave one plate with a huge amount of steaming food piled upon it. We do not wish to share this food with anyone else, but prefer to stuff it all down our own fat faces. The whole tapas movement is thus a blow to our American sensibilities. […]
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Gourmet Comfort
Ken’s Place Wins 1st Place
by Steve Lanning The first thing that greets you at Ken’s Place isn’t a waitperson or receptionist. Instead, trays of delicious desserts, shake your hand and ask: “How are you today?” If you take your eyes off these treats and scope out the restaurant, you’ll notice it’s not very large. But, Ken’s Place feels bright […]
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The Freshmaker
Thai Noon; Thai Done Light
It amazes me that people still debate the gentrification of Alberta, because it’s so over. Other than Joe’s Place, the Alberta Street Market (which will soon be torn down and turned into a sushi bar!!!), and a few Mexican markets, Alberta has been lost to the yuppie cheesehead for some time now. Maybe everyone could […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Should I Move Away from Portland Forever? Eventually everyone, everywhere, faces an inevitable crossroads of professional and emotional stagnation, at which point they consider moving to Miami. (It is worth noting that people who actually live in Miami are not afflicted by this ennui, though they do die in droves from melanoma.) Should YOU move […]