UFO Pizza 6024 NE Glisan, 238-3514 I grew up near Chicago, and was weaned on deep-dish, inch-thick piecrust. But that doesn’t mean I prefer it that way. No, I actually don’t need to eat an entire loaf of bread with my pizza. Instead, I like my crust just hefty enough to carry its load of […]
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Sampling the Pirates’ Booty
Reviewer Gets Nautical on Barbur Boulevard
Crab Bowl 7958 SW Barbur Blvd (503) 245-9954 Forget Martha Stewart and Wallpaper magazine–if it were up to me, I would decorate my whole house with a nautical theme. I want those big wooden steering wheel things, knobby old ropes, rusty anchors, and a big ol’ shrine to The Goonies. Since it’s not up to […]
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Eat It
Some Restaurants That Serve Nutritious and Tasty Food Salvador Molly’s 1523 SW Sunset Blvd, 293-1790 Salvador Molly’s offers a plentiful selection of Salvadorian fare in a cheerful, if overly decorated space. The Machaca special I had was friggin’ awesome; tasty, salty pork scrambled with a smartly modest amount of egg served with black beans and […]
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Moonshine Of Mine
Local Man Defies Law to Brew Up His Own
“Moonshine?” Why, I do declare! Didn’t that go out with Daisy Duke’s button-down bloomers? Hell, Naw! Well, yeah, but… Hell Naw! First of all, you don’t need to have spare teeth stuck behind your ears with bubblegum, or go barefoot with your toenails removed, or have a stringy Rasputin beard tucked into your jug to […]
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Oh, My Aching Skull!
Do-It-Yourself Hangover Cures–from the Experts!
What causes a hangover? Naturally, it’s different for everyone. Certainly, three vodka tonics, a shot of whiskey, two PBRs, and a couple glasses of box wine will do it every time; but on the real, “free radicals” are to blame. Free radicals are unbalanced atoms created when your body processes alcohol. When your system tries […]
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Class Up Your Liquor Cabinet!
A Guide to Oregon’s Hoity-Toity Distillers
Who are we to look down on an afternoon spent sucking down a half-rack of Pabst Blue Ribbon? Nevertheless, there are times when you need to wash up, put on a clean shirt and act all dignified and shit. This means occasionally shelling out for a bottle of the good stuff–like the following Ransom Cellars […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I a Clone? The French-racecar-driver-worshiping Raëlians have announced that two clones have been born and that dozens more are due in the next few months. This has led to a great deal of international speculation as to the validity of the Raëlians’ claims, as well as the identity and location of the “clones.” Do […]
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A Smoke-Flavored Patty
Murder King Throws Meatless Bone to the Veg
Burger King’s BK Veggie Burger Everywhere The existence of the Burger King Veggie sandwich has posed somewhat of a moral and ethical dilemma for vegetarians and vegans. The sandwich was introduced last spring in the wake of the failed-then-resurrected (in Canada) McDonald’s McVeggie burger and, according to every authority on vegetarianism on earth, it sends […]
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Divine Inspiration
Living Long and Eating Right, Chinese Style
Chinese food gives you long life, good luck, and much happiness. Chinese food is the healthy and tasty embodiment of a centuries-old tradition. A delicate balance of meats, fowl, fresh vegetables, and creatures of the sea combine to make delicate flavor, and delightful texture–most notably at the restaurants listed below. Om Seafood Restaurant 7632 SE […]
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Clean Living
And Downright Tasty Eats
by Katie Shimer and Justin Sanders There are the mornings when you wake up and want a downright dirty breakfast. This aforementioned “dirty” breakfast usually consists of a couple greasy eggs, some greasy hash browns, white toast, and four strips of bacon. The dirty is most often consumed when you are dirty, for any number […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
What New Year’s Resolutions Are Right for Me? Well, it’s that time of year again! Time to start writing out New Year’s resolutions! Having trouble? We thought you might be! That’s why we’ve put together a list of resolutions for you to choose from. Simply circle the number in front of the most appealing resolutions, […]
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Food Reviewer at Large
And Getting Larger
K&S Cafeteria Raleigh, North Carolina For the past two weeks I’ve been hard at work in “the Triangle” area of North Carolina. What am I doing down here? I’m making money; something we’d all agree can be very difficult back home in Portland. Why, even the price of homemade crank has sunk to new lows. […]