Who says Republicans can't take a joke? After seeing this week's "New Column!" in the Mercury—titled "Will Someone Please Adopt... SCRUFFLES, THE GOP KITTEN?"—the Multnomah County Republicans decided to post a rebuttal column of sorts on their blog called "WIMPY, THE PORTLAND MERCURY KITTEN." Here's a taste!

Meet Wimpy, the Portland Mercury Kitten. He's a two-month-old, ginger tabby who loves warm snuggles. Also...

• Wimpy is a committed atheist who worships government scientists instead of God, and knows that anyone who questions anything a government scientist says must have something seriously wrong with them. Wimpy firmly believes that only by doing everything that government experts tell us can we avoid an environmental apocalypse.

• Wimpy loves wrestling with balls of yarn, and giving affectionate "head butts" during cuddle time.

• Wimpy is terrified that fossil fuel use is about to put Portland deep under water, since he cannot swim, and believes that we need to pay billionaires to make poor quality low carbon fuels that no one wants to keep the polar ice caps from melting.

Oh, and there's a lot more here! In all, I'd say this was a valiant effort—considering the GOP's past experience with the concept of "humor"—though I would advise them to focus on making their jokes a bit tighter and not so wordy. And maybe not plagiarize so much? But otherwise, a solid C+ (which is like two grades higher than they usually get... so YAY!) Also? Super cute kitten!