Sure, you could spend much of your adult life obsessing over cats and a series of children books about wizards. (Hello, Alison!) Or you could accomplish both tasks in a millionth of the time, thanks to the makers of “All of Harry Potter Re-Enacted by Cats in Just One Minute.” YOU’RE WELCOME.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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