I'm just going to assume that the first paragraph of this article never actually happened and that instead you're creating a helpful pastiche of several different interactions in an attempt to create a cohesive narrative. And most likely the story in the second paragraph too... Possibly the third one as well.

For an interesting take on this phenomenon I would recommend this piece:

http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/st…

sweet input bro

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing I'm more tired of than being told to smile by strangers... is listening to bloggers complain about being told to smile by strangers.

You should play a ukulele during your act, no one would ever speak to you again.

Cat-calling/"complimenting" random ladies is a gross form of Tourette's I'll never ever comprehend. Mind your own damn business, weirdos

Why do journalists use drawings to depict thier images, drawings that are poor depictions? So they don't have to update thier photo? Don't they have better artists to do those? Or is that part of the thing?

Get a black belt in...

Home Alive: The Art of 117 Ways to Kick a Man in the Balls.

Some fucking street kid told me to smile one time. Fucking hate those people.

Back the fuck off my sister's art, Demondog. And Berkeley Breathed's.

I just can't get over how this is written. Aside from someone following you, which is indeed very terrifying and uncomfortable, ignore the cat calls. Yes they are completely obnoxious but bitching on the internet isn't going to stop them. Either ignore them or tell the person straight up how you think he's being a dick.

Obviously they use those drawings to depict themselves as more being more attractive, very popular with the Merc gals. I like them because it nullifies their arguments about judging women based on looks.

Glad you were okay after that scary incident, Barbara!

Why does it seem like only basement dwelling haters write comments on this site? Anyway, I whole heartedly agree with your position, Barbara. Women are defensive because we kind of have to be. I am so tired of hearing men say they wish they were objectified. Perhaps they wouldn't welcome it if it came from a sex they don't prefer sexually. Even then, I don't think they can understand the vulnerability women inevitably feel when the hungry gaze of a man is on them. That being said, it wouldn't hurt Portlanders in general to wipe off the consta-scowl many of us sport. I'm guilty as charged on that one. Put a smile on it, or whatever.

creepers need to stop following women down lonely streets so that the rest of us suave latin flirts can continue cultivating our craft of playful seduction...

but it is a huge drag to be assaultable to nearly half the planet.

but as men, we have to occasionally air this tender aggression or it turns into shame and rots inside us.

Are these otherwise normal-seeming guys, or are these one-hand-in-the-trenchcoat weirdos? Like, is that really a thing that crosses dudes' minds?

Fuck, I almost started arguing with pigmen and disgruntled bloggers. On the internet. I mean, fuck, man.

I like the article, Barbara. The subject matter made me angry and sick in my tum-tum, but in a very compelling way. 5/5 would get angry at again

Today I felt like eating a tuna sandwich and you know what? I ate a tuna sandwich.

Jeus christ there are some weird sociopaths here. Listen to Joe, sociopaths. Find the sandwich you want in life and eat it. Eat it with gusto. The world is a better place when people eat the sandwiches they desire and let others enjoy their preferred sandwiches (I enjoy a good turkey sandwich on whole wheat with avocado)

When's the last time we heard someone at the office tell a GUY he should smile more? Or that HE shouldn't worry his pretty little head about it? (Very insulting comments.)

Men (in general) haven't quite evolved as much as women. They still have neanderthal-like tendencies and they do things based on those biological impulses rather than educating themselves on, and cultivating societal standards on how they should treat other people. I think articles like this help bring light to them so that they can realize that their deviant behavior is NOT appreciated.

As far as Holms blogs go, this one was OK by me.

Fuck vegans

I really think Journeys first album was their greatest work. Nothing against the Steve Perry era of Journey, but you owe it to yourself to hear the first album.

I am a straight man and I can honestly tell you that I think cat calling is disgusting and disrespectful. I understand that it is hard to meet new people of the opposite sex but there are ways to go about it that are not threatening. I also don't feel like the average man is this fucked. And btw Pezshannan, your comment is almost as disrespectful. You shouldn't lump each person into one massive group. Every man is a misogynistic pig! No they aren't, you have just had bad experiences. Don't lump me in with the masses, it's bullshit. You don't get a special award for being a super feminist just because you hate every man that walks the earth. You get a special award for being closed minded and doing the opposite of what you stand for.

MJ, I am not even a feminist. I am an observer and a research nut. Don't take it personal.

While you certainly aren't obligated to enjoy those interactions, the fact that your male friends wish for it themselves is unsurprising. It is rare for women to play the aggressor and come on to a guy so overtly. Whereas a demand for a smile to you seems demeaning, your male friend might find it a confidence booster.

I think that's what these guys are trying to say. There are a lot of dicks out there who give the rest of us a bad reputation and it is increasingly difficult to flirt appropriately because women are put on edge by the assholes. You are wary of objectification and lewd comments, because you've come to accept them as commonplace, but for many men, it would be a surprise - just as it might be to a woman who has recently changed her appearance and revels in the new-found attention it affords.

Your friends, peers and many other men would welcome the change of pace to have a woman breaking the ice/making the first move/offering an unsolicited compliment, instead of trying to navigate the dangerous waters of gauging mutual interest and finding the right way to initiate without being too vague or too offensive.

Like a Melody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jszwppGnaIw

When I'd like to see a girl smile, I smile at her. If I get a blank face in response, I just fucking move on. Only a jerk would assume the right to tell a stranger what to do with her face. So I must be one of those sissyfied Portland men we keep hearing about.

If you don't smile when the PSU Safety Patrollers try to handcuff you, then you'll have your kneecap beaten with a batton, pulled down on the ground by a girl, and peppermaced directly in the eyes by a real dick, because a girl can't do it all by herself.

"The smile police, they live inside of my head.
The smile police, they come to me in my bed.
The smile police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no..."

This was a funny and informative column. As a man, I can never comprehend the terror of being followed at night. I also thought the title was about how the police should smile more.

Follow me will 'ya?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbe3CQamF8k

Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis were double billed, so they flipped a coin to see who would open and who would headline. Lewis won the toss and Little Richard had to open. There was only one grand piano which they both would have to use. Little Richard ended his act by setting fire to the piano and then said to Jerry Lee Lewis, let's see you follow THAT!