Hi. Iâm Francine Colman-Gutierrez. Here are some things Trump supporters are wrong about.
âDonald Trump will finally take away abortionâ:
Wrong. Iâve got three abortions planned for next week.
âTrump will build a wall between us and Mexicoâ:
And if itâs like everything else heâs built, itâll go out of business in six months.
âThe Trump Administration has a mandateâ:
Maybe you should Google the definition of âmandate.â Wait... let me show you how to use Google.
âTrump will enforce a Muslim registryâ:
Heâll be too busy running âre-education campsâ for reporters.
âRussia had nothing to do with Hillary losing the electionâ:
Fucking up democracy is literally the only thing Russians are good at.
âTrump doesnât need daily intelligence briefingsâ:
Because he gets his briefings directly from the KGB?
âTrump canât have âconflicts of interestâ because heâs the presidentâ:
Tell that to the impeachment committee.
âTrump stands up to foreign powersâ:
Sure, if you mean he knows nothing about foreign powers and when he gets bored he stands up and wanders out of the room.
âTrump is draining the swampâ:
...aaaand pouring it into his cabinet. Swamps have to go somewhere!
âJust because I voted for a racist doesnât make me a racistâ:
Wow. You did a really nice job cutting eye-holes in your hood!
âYou donât listen to me because you live in a âliberal bubbleââ:
What? I canât hear you! Your fake news bubble is too thick!
âClimate change doesnât existâ:
See above.
âThe new Harry Potter movie isnât as bad as people sayâ:
It was the second-worst thing to happen in 2016.
âAt least Trump will let me keep my gunsâ:
Youâll need them when the wasteland warlords hoard all the water and you have to shoot your dog for food.
âPresident Trump will keep jobs in Americaâ:
Oh, sweetie... thatâs the saddest, stupidest thing Iâve heard yet.
âI voted for Trump, and Iâll keep my insuranceâ:
Whoops, I was wrong... THATâS the saddest, stupidest thing Iâve heard yet.
âI canât believe you said that. Iâd never shoot my dogâ:
Weâll see.
