ELDADCARIN / GETTY IMAGES Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things (about Portland) that you’re wrong about. “Transplants have ruined Portland!” Tell that to the heart surgeons at OHSU. “Swimming in the Willamette River is gross.” It is literally cleaner than your bathtub. “Portland is too crowded!” …says the unmarried bachelor who works […]
Francine Colman-Gutierrez
Posted inComedy
You’re Wrong About That! (Portland Edition)
Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things (about Portland) that you’re wrong about. “Transplants have ruined Portland!” Tell that to the heart surgeons at OHSU. “Swimming in the Willamette River is gross.” It is literally cleaner than your bathtub. “Portland is too crowded!” …says the unmarried bachelor who works at Under Armour and […]
Posted inComedy
New Column: You’re Wrong About That!
ELDADCARIN / GETTY IMAGES Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things you’re wrong about. “Spring is almost here!”: No, it isn’t. Eating salt water taffy is a fun experience: Wrong, and that has never been the case. Taxing the rich: Can’t we go straight to guillotining the rich? Babies: Wrong. Look, they’ve had […]
Posted inComedy
You’re Wrong About That: Your Mustache
Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things you’re wrong about. “Spring is almost here!”: No, it isn’t. Eating salt water taffy is a fun experience: Wrong, and that has never been the case. Taxing the rich: Can’t we go straight to guillotining the rich? Babies: Wrong. Look, they’ve had a good run. “I […]
Posted inNational Politics
You’re Wrong About That: The “Keep Hope Alive” Edition
Hi. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez. And here are some things you’re totally wrong about in your teeny tiny bubble full of safe space. “The Supreme Court will stop him.” No, they won’t. They’re all gonna bite it in, like, 15 minutes, and be replaced with judges from Law & Order. Wrong. “Congress will grow some balls.” […]
Posted inComedy
New Column!
You’re Wrong About That: The “Keep Hope Alive” Edition
You’re Wrong About That: The “Keep Hope Alive” edition.
Posted inComedy
You’re Wrong About That: Trump Supporters Edition
Hi. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez. Here are some things Trump supporters are wrong about. “Donald Trump will finally take away abortion”: Wrong. I’ve got three abortions planned for next week. “Trump will build a wall between us and Mexico”: And if it’s like everything else he’s built, it’ll go out of business in six months. “The […]
Posted inComedy
New Column!
You’re Wrong About That: Trump Supporters Edition
Here are some things Trump supporters are wrong about.
Posted inNew Column!
You’re Wrong About That: Fireworks
You’re Wrong About That: The Fireworks Edition
Posted inCannabis
You’re Wrong About That: Weed
“You’re Wrong About That: The 420 Edition” by Francine Colman-Gutierrez.
Posted inComedy
Returning Column: “You’re Wrong About That”
Hi. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez. Here are some things you are wrong about. Old People: You’re wrong. Some of them aren’t creepy at all. Daylight Savings Time: Wrong. You’re not actually saving anything. Your “Cool” Dad: He is so not cool. “There IS Evidence for God” Billboards: You are very wrong about that. Neko Atsume: Just […]
Posted inNew Column!
Returning Column!
You’re Wrong About That!
“You’re Wrong About That!” by Francine Colman-Gutierrez