Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things (about Portland) that you’re wrong about.
“Transplants have ruined Portland!” Tell that to the heart surgeons at OHSU.
“Swimming in the Willamette River is gross.” It is literally cleaner than your bathtub.
“Portland is too crowded!” …says the unmarried bachelor who works at Under Armour and shares a five-bedroom house in the Laurelhurst neighborhood with no one.
“I’m so sick of all the tourists!” What, you think locals are going to buy your disgusting artisanal vegan jerky?
“It rains too much.” LOL, in a decade, your children won’t remember what rain was.
“Antifa shouldn’t be allowed to wear masks!” And yet it’s okay for Patriot Prayer to dress up in homoerotic Gladiator cosplay?
“Protesters threw milkshakes filled with cement!” I’ll bet $100 that none of those protesters have ever seen the inside of a hardware store.