Credit: Image by Carolyn Main
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Texas senatorial candidate Chris Mapp keeps putting his giant cowboy boot in his mouth. Last week Mapp told the Dallas Morning News‘ editorial board that American “ranchers should be allowed to shoot on sight anyone illegally crossing the border on to their land.” Does that sound right? The penalty for sort of trespassing is instant death? Life’s not a video game. (I think… I hope. Oh man, if it is I hope whatever Ender is playing my avatar figures out what they’re doing in time.)

Mapp’s racist violence is all over the map. In addition to implying that murdering human beings is okay, he called immigrants an awful racial slur: “wetbacks.” Contextually, maybe when he said that they should be shot he simply meant with squirt guns… and from behind. But only a squirtgun coward with no honor shoots a soldier in the back.

Mapp is only 53 years old, which when it comes to racial slurs, is young enough to know better.

He defended himself by saying that using a racial slur is as “normal as breathing air in South Texas.” That is not something to brag about. You breathe air 15 times per minute on average; is everyone in South Texas full of hate 15 times per minute?

And then, for seemingly no reason other than to be a dick, Mapp called President Barack Obama “a socialist son of a bitch.” President Obama in my opinion is a very solid textbook definition democrat when it comes to politics, but maybe when it comes to “son of a bitchiness” he is a socialist. I guess that would mean from each according to his son-of-a-bitchiness to each according to how much son-of-a-bitchiness he needs.

The immigration debate is a lot like my grandmother’s dating life: kept afloat by old racist white men.

7 replies on “Don’t Be a Dick, Chris Mapp”

  1. When you’re right you’re right. It’s time to solve immigration. America needs to annex Mexico as the 52nd US territory. Definitely take Mexico before Canada. When you break down their potential positives Mexico comes out with a strong edge: sandy beaches, chihuahuas, margaritas, cheap cocaine, flan vs. beaver pelts, frozen tundra, angry bears, over priced crappy beer, hockey, crappy weed, poutine, and flannel hats. No brainer. Canada isn’t going anywhere anyway, we just have to get it before Russia does.

  2. Socialism exists on an economic spectrum, while democracy exists on a political spectrum. And while they often have quite a bit of overlap in ideology, they are not mutually exclusive like you make it sound.

  3. Socialism exists on a political spectrum when it comes from the mouths of racist-ass South Texas shitheads. It means “anyone that isn’t a racist-ass South Texas shithead”.

  4. good one, barb – but when idiots like this or โ€œjoe the plumberโ€ mouth off to the media, it’s like gun, fish, barrel, BANG!, to point out all the stupid.

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