If Jim Lehrer had the chance to do it all over again—and moderate THE SHIT out of the presidential debate instead of getting bulldozed… I would hope he’d do it like this. “SILENCE!!”

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)