Sadly, no actual llamas were in attendance.

Mini-horse enthusiast and Portland comedy staple Veronica Heath was recently sidelined by complications related to rheumatoid arthritis, so her fellow comedians did something adorable: Well, they hosted AN ACTUAL CARNIVAL and three hours of comedy at the Funhouse Lounge Wednesday night, Operation Unicorn. I didn’t stay for the whole thing (three hours; school night; insert joke about how I’m getting on in years here), but what I saw was delightful. Behold: The five most heartwarming and/or inscrutable moments of a very heartwarming comedy show.

1. The very funny Whitney Streed and Caitlin Weierhauser making obscene jokes (topics included: ethically sourced porn, how 401ks are like David Lynch movies, lying about being a vegan, telling pugs they are “broken dogs”) while wearing matching unicorn t-shirts!

1a. This question, from Caitlin Weierhauser: “You ever try to dismantle the patriarchy on the bus?”

(1b. It’s funny because I’ve done it. Did it work? I ended up getting sanctimoniously warned about the dangers of misandry, so YMMV. But at least I tried!)

2. Joanne Schinderle’s correct statement that wearing a leather cuff as man-jewelry is not a good or trustworthy look.

3. Albert Kirchner’s cruel yet hilarious joke about how Seattle is the corrupt manor lord of the Pacific Northwest, and the rest of us are serfs here to do its Amazon/Microsoft-dictated bidding. (Full disclosure: I’m from Seattle, and I’m sorry.)

4. When a humidifier was inexplicably raffled off. Hey, someone’s hands are going to be 100 percent less weather-aged this winter! And yet it still seems weird.

5. A personal best: Though I’ve seen Steven Wilber (previously Portland’s Funniest Person, now usurped by Amy Miller) many times over, I finally figured out what his comedy steez reminds me of—a substitute teacher who’s desperately trying to seem cool, with a dash of Tim ‘n’ Eric crazy-eyed darkness. His set at Operation Unicorn was one of the best I’ve seen from him, featuring both his classic rock radio station möbius strip of time joke, and a “naughty” Mad Libs that turned out to be set in a trench during World War I. Or something? It’s always hard to tell with this guy, which is kind of the point.