Still looking for the perfect V-day gift for the scarred woman in your life? Check out this Funny of Die vid in which Top Chef‘s Padma Lakshmi, comedian/actor Brian Huskey (Children’s Hospital), and Padma Laksmi’s arm scar attempt to sell you the latest in romantic scar-flaunting fashions! Because… VALENTINE’S DAY! And… SCAR!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)