Today’s alarming press release from the police: over night, someone broke into a police car and stole a Glock 17, ammo, Taser and police vest:

This incident occurred overnight and the officer discovered the theft in the morning. The equipment was stored in a locked container that was secured to the vehicle. The suspect or suspects dismantled the car alarm, forced their way into the vehicle and then broke open the locked container. The officer immediately notified the police bureau and a report was filed. This is an ongoing investigation.

So, uh, be on the alert for someone wandering around with police weapons and a police vest who is not, in fact, a police officer. This is the sort of thing that would be hilarious if it turns out the thief is Steve Urkel and not funny at all if it turns out to be, you know, some meth head who beats his wife.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

7 replies on “Whoopsie.”

  1. So how is this any different than the current threat we face from Portland Police?

  2. Is it a vest that says “Police” or are we talking body armor? One is scary, (although not that scary, you can buy the stuff on the internet,) the other can be picked up at any random costume shop.

    The Glock? Who cares, you can find better weapons every other weekend down at the expo center.

  3. Does anyone else think this story smells like BS?

    So…someone broke into a police car, dismantled the alarm – and then busted into yet another locked container inside…

    And no one heard anything? This crime would take a little bit of doing. Lots of risk for being caught. By a cop.

    Most perps won’t take this risk just for a glock and body armor. Not that they aren’t valuable, but there are easier ways to get guns & money.

    I’d guess there’s more to this story…

  4. The truly surprising fact in this story is that there is a Portland police bureau employee that lives in the city of Portland. I thought they just took our money and went to Washington state or Washington County.

  5. I agree with Nick, this alleged crime sounds suspicious…

    Given the recent press over the murder of Aaron Campbell, even by the racists, bigots at KXL radio, who would take the chance? Surely, catching them in the act of taking a gun out of a police car and shooting them would be somewhat justified.

    And , why couldn’t this have been a ‘wife-beating, police officer, rather than a ‘male meth addict’.

    For that matter Sarah, it could have been a ‘muscle-bound, butch-babe who beats up men in wheelchairs. Who knows? Your speculating as to the gender of the alleged perp is revealing…

    I think the cops know who did it. They did it themselves to distract from the Campbell shooting and to give Lars and his nasty News Director an excuse to return to the fear mongering that they usually do, on behalf of their corporate handlers.

    heading home from the Campbell march last Friday, KXL had a clip from a woman who said, “The police are letting them walk in the street, and yet they’re complaining about the police. I don’t understand.”
    As if shooting an unarmed man in the back is equivalent to ‘J Walking’.

    It is this lack of proportionality in our criminal justice system and among our DA’s and the police that is creating the growing mistrust for government that is the real problem in America-

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