Anime Convention

Anime is some crazy shit, packed with giant robots, organic spaceships, hyper-sexualized teenage girls, talking animals, gun-toting cyborgs, monster-related card games, wise-cracking bounty hunters, and mutated kids. (And trust me--that's not even the really weird stuff.)

For all things involving Japanese animation--which, here in the states, is only just starting to get the attention it deserves--hit Kumoricon, Portland's first-ever anime convention. There'll be anime geeks, paraphernalia (like that hard-to-find Neon Genesis Evangelion figure you've been looking everywhere for), a lecture by Portland State professor (and Japanese/American culture expert) Dr. Antonia Levi, plus an appearance by Mechanized Propulsion Systems, a group that's not content with make-believe giant robots--so they're building their own!

But the real show-stopper will be the "cos-play" competition, where attendees will dress up in homemade costumes and perform as their favorite obscure anime and video game characters! Yeah, it's going to be geeky as shit, but it also might be pretty cool--not only for anime buffs, but also for anyone who'd like a sneak peek at where American pop culture will be headed in the next 25 years. (Hint: GIANT ROBOTS!) EH

Kumoricon, Saturday, Sept. 4 through Monday, Sept. 6 at the Portland Marriott Downtown, 1401 SW Naito Parkway. $40 for three days, $20 for Saturday or Sunday, $15 for Monday. Hit for more info.

Hilary Duff

Look, if you're planning on knocking over a liquor store or robbing a bank, this is the night to do it--because every cop in Portland will be at the Hilary Duff concert. AND SO WILL I, BABY! SO WILL I!

And while a few of you haters are all up on the Lindsay Lohan tip, let me break down why Hilary RULES and Lindsay DROOLS:

* Hilary has her own TV show! That's right, crackhead! Lindsay may have a cushier movie resume, but Lizzie McGuire brings Hilary into our homes every week!

* Hilary has her own line of products at Target! Lindsay on the other hand, has her own line of ASS hanging out of her shorts in the latest Rolling Stone! Whore.

* Hilary already has THREE albums! How many does Lindsay have? ZERO--because she's too busy being a whore.

* Hilary is letting her sister Haylie perform with her in concert as a "special guest." Ever heard of Lindsay's sister? No, and that's because Lindsay sold her sister to Satan in order to win the 2004 Teen Choice Award. GOD! I hate Lindsay! But I love YOU, Hilary! Omigod, omigod, OMIGOD!!! Eeeeeeeeee!!! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Hilary and Haylie Duff in Concert, Rose Garden, Wed Sept. 8, 7 pm, $39 & $49.50