The second and final week of Pedalpalooza, Portland’s annual bike
festival, is providing some serious two-wheeled fun, so read on for our
suggestions (and don’t forget your helmet)!
THURSDAY, JUNE 119
• Unicycle Polo
Even if you don’t own a unicycle, this should be good for a
laugh.
Alberta Park, NE 22nd & Killingsworth, 6:30 pm ’til
dark
FRIDAY, JUNE 20
• Worst of Portland Usually Portlanders can’t stop jabbering about how awesome their
city is for cyclists. This ride, however, showcases the worst and most
dangerous routes. Just watch out for broken glass and 18-wheelers.
The traffic island at SW Sheridan & Naito, 5:15 pm
• Sexy Cyclist Ride
Put on those hot pants and join other sexy Portlanders for a karaoke
pub crawl, a fashion show, and dancing.
South Park Blocks, SW 9th & Salmon, 6:30 pm
• Bowie vs. Prince Mobile Dance Party
The connection between Bowie and Prince is unclear, but I’m down for
anything that involves dancing on the side of the road and dressing
like an ’80s fashion victim.
Colonel Summers Park, SE 20th & Belmont, 9:30 pm
SATURDAY, JUNE 21
• Splash Dance
Ever want to dance in a public fountain? With your bike? Here’s your
chance.
Salmon Street Springs Fountain, SW Naito & Salmon, 2
pm
• Zombie Cycle Rampage
Don your finest zombie garb and fake blood. The organizers of this
ride claim they can teach you how to ride with a limp, an all-important
life skill.
Salmon Street Springs Fountain, SW Naito & Salmon, 6
pm
SUNDAY, JUNE 22
• Swingers Ride
No, the Swingers Ride isn’t Ace of Hearts on wheels. Instead of
switching spouses with other riders, you switch bikes.
Arbor Lodge Park, N Bryant & Delaware, noon
MONDAY, JUNE 23
• The Big Girls Ride
Not everyone is a vegan bike hipster with five percent body fat. If
you are a lady who describes herself as “Rubenesque,” this is the ride
for you.
Eastbank Esplanade, 5 SE Madison, 6:30-7:30 pm
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25
• The Wurst Ride of the Year
As opposed to the Worst Day of the Year Ride, where cyclists endure
the harsh weather of February, this ride involves bikes, beer, and
sausages (the holy trinity).
Lucky Lab Beer Hall, 1945 NW Quimby St, 3:30-6 pm