Good Beers Don’t Come in Pink Bottles

A disturbingly pink bottle of beer turned up at the Mercury office this afternoon. No, it isn’t Pepto-Bismol. It’s Rogue’s new Bacon Maple Ale, a dark orangish-brown ale—at one point it seemed like they were going to make a porter, which this definitely isn’t—that’s been brewed with the addition of apple-smoked bacon (sorry, veg heads), maple syrup, and a ton of smoky malt. It’s a tribute to-slash-collaboration with Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts, and while the bottle reminds us of Voodoo’s candier options, this one’s meant to be the beer equivalent of a bacon maple bar.

It goes on sale tomorrow at Rogue’s pop-up SE Portland outpost (1001 SE 9th). And—deep breath—it goes for $156 a case. That’s 12 bottles (750mL each). That’s 13 FUCKING DOLLARS A BOTTLE. If you are the kind of person that pays $13 for a bottle of beer that was brewed in the same state where you live (as opposed to a rural Belgian monastery or something) then I don’t think we should continue this relationship any further. Oh, and for some reason, our sample bottle came accompanied by a condom (also pink).

No idea how strong the beer is; Rogue is always cagey about the ABVs of their brews. We had a quick tasting here at the office, and the results ranged from “no” to “oh!” to “jerky” to “campfire” to “that’s not good” to “I don’t like it.” It generally tastes like a dirty, ashy smoked beer without any of the subtlety of the finer Bamberger rauchbiers. The maple syrup notes pop up now and again, but the smoke flavor, along with fatty hits of unwanted bacon, dominate. Smoked beer enthusiasts might get a kick out of it, and perhaps it could pair decently with a porky, syrupy breakfast of some kind, but otherwise the blend of sweet and smoky is jarring. Also: $13 A BOTTLE.