Jones just opened in the old McFaddens space in Old Town, in dangerous proximity to the Mercury offices, as a matter of fact. It’s an “all retro ’80s and ’90s danceclub” and the website is decorated with pictures like this one:
It is slightly disconcerting to realize that the word “retro” does not have a fixed definition determined by my own adolescence, and I’m still not totally comfortable with girls in their 20s (I AM IN MY 20s! however barely) dressing like my real estate agent mother did in 1994. Hower, Jones has a few things in its favor: It’s not McFaddens; it’s owned by the forces behind the Boiler Room, which is arguably as not-terrible as it is possible for a karaoke bar located in Old Town to be (and as a recent anniversary of their weekly open mic demonstrated, it’s done a ton for the local comedy scene); and Brian Wood of Big Ass Sandwiches is running the breakfast-based kitchen. (Wood’s also a local comedy fan who’s been known to name sandwiches after comedians, which makes me wonder if we’ll ever see any comedy in the new space—it seems pretty dance oriented at this point.)
Hours are currently posted as 8 pm-5 am, with expanded daytime hours on the horizon. There are plenty of photos on their Facebook page, including “the biggest Lite Brite Wall on the West Coast”.
Here, let this rattle around in your brain for a while. It’s stuck pretty good in mine.
How is this any different from every other bar/dance hall in Portland where all the kids wear that 80s crap from Goodwill all the time?
I haven’t been out in a while, so this might be a dumb question, but that photo you posted – that is…that is to get people to want to go there?
Hell is…. Jones Bar.
THAT GIRL LOOKS KIND OF CUTE. TOO BAD SHE’S THE (TOTALLY EPIC) MEAT IN A DISGUSTING BRO SANDWICH.
ALSO, BASED ON HOURS, LOCATION AND BREAKFAST-ORIENTED MENU, THIS PLACE WILL BE NOTHING MORE THAN A DIXIE-AND-CUDA-ARE-CLOSED-SO-LET’S-GO-GET-SOME-BACON-AND-SOBER-UP-BEFORE-WE-DRIVE-HOME-TO-BEAVERTON VENUE.
WHICH WILL LIKELY BE EXTREMELY LUCRATIVE.
I know it’s a waste of my energy but man, does that picture fill me with white hot rage.
men should not have duck lips, disgusting>:P
Yes, our Vans fan just can’t help but let you know he’s trying to be amusing. Good fucking lord.
DUDE BRO SWEET
HAT COCKED SLIGHTLY TO THE SIDE = SO DOPE
POP THAT COLLAR, SON
I can smell the Axe through my screen.
Is that guy on the left wearing 3D movie glasses?
Is that Colin Firth on the left?
Wow, The Joneser isn’t going to be any fun at all!
ok, here we go @1)it isn’t, we just didn’t have hipsters in the 90’s.@2, shockingly, yes. The douchebaggery is strong here. The food will probably be great though!@5, stop blaming everything on Beaver town. There are plenty of tools in Portland too. Come to think of it, how is this any worse than fake eyeglasses, a stupid beard and a bishops haircut? Answer:both suck!
@14: D+ trolling at best.
1. Pretty sure guy on the left is wearing fake eyeglasses, or at least ridiculously ineffective sunglasses.
2. The multi-day stubble on these guys is the stupidest of beards.
3. http://lmgtfy.com/q=bishops+barbershop+bea…
CAN WE HAVE THE NEXT /B/TOWN MEET-UP AT THIS PLACE?!?
The girl is very cute, the guy with the duck lips is fucking creepy as hell and kind of pedo looking. The guy with the stupid ass hair on the left well, he has that hair style so girls think he doesn’t care, but in reality it took him 4 hours to make it just perfect enough to look like he didn’t try at all.
What a fucking poser.