You KNOW you’re sick of all that junk (chairs, desks, printers, certain employees) cluttering up your office. So why not call Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage… and all of your problems will magically disappear. (Jones accepts cash, check, all major credit cards and weed.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=N0gb9v4LI4o%26hl%3Den%26fs%3D1

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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