You know, I’ve been looking for the perfect X-mas present for all those people who have been pissing me off, and at last? I’VE FOUND IT! It’s the newest product from the #1 military contractor Lockheed Martin, and is aptly named the “Multiple Kill Vehicle.” Though I’m slightly upset that I can’t ride this thing, it’s just the right size to gift wrap and slip under your enemy’s tree.
(FYI: You might want to start being a little nicer in the comments. HINT. HINT.)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
I think I’ve just figured out how I want to die.