The brewing industry in this town has gotten to the point where truly new ideas are few and far between, and ironically the most original thing to pop up in a long time (at least design-wise) is a return to basics. I’m talkin’ ’bout Churchkey, the newest old/oldest new way to drink beer as of its Portland release at Dig a Pony (736 SE Grand) this very evening from 7 to 10 pm. Cans will be handed out at lower prices and openers will be free for all attending.
- Churchkey Can Co.
- Drinking à la Don Draper
Responsible for this boozy blast from the past are Justin Hawkins, brewers Lucas Jones and Sean Burke (Portland natives all), plus the dreamiest drinker of all, investor Adrien Grenier (yeah, that one). The cans have been pleasing most parties before they’re even on sale—PDX Beer Geeks totally approve of the Pilsner that they found inside; environmentally-minded boozers will love how you can recycle the shit out of this can; and who doesn’t want to look more like a badass breaking into their beer? Which you accomplish, by the way, with the beer’s namesake opener: You crack two holes in the top of the can with that little tool (one for drinking, one for air flow). Naysayers ask why—why is nostalgia so trendy, why would we want to work for our beer, etc. But the general opinion of the beer itself seems to be favorable, so… why not?
I have yet to find a reason to hate on this idea—although I have an image in my head of drunk consumers losing the key and stabbing themselves trying to crack that last can with an ax.
Minus 10 points for each additional step required to open a can of beer.
If you’ve ever tried to open a can without a knife or other sharp implement, you know why this is a terrible idea. Now we’ll have a new raft of hipsters with stupid shit hanging off their belt/pocket on a carabiner.
Lame.
Cans = good.
Churchkey cans = bad.
Gimmicky, added expense for the novelty factor. To me, it’s about what’s inside the can. Wait, that sounded like a corporate beer ad…
“environmentally-minded boozers will love how you can recycle the shit out of this can”
Are there beers on the market in non-recyclable containers?
GIMMICK AND NOTHING ELSE. BORING.
Disagree. This sounds fun. Not really any different than using a bottle opener, just slightly pointier. And I say PLUS POINTS FOR POINTIER. Also, the beer is supposed to be good.
@2: Not sure if this changes your opinion, but the sixers come with a (recyclable) opener.
Anyone ever caught with a bottle of wine and no opener will already know to avoid this shit. Progress makes things better for a reason, dummies.
$10 for a sixer of pils!?! No thank you
+1 to everyone except Ned. This is a terrible idea at which I scoff with derision.
I’ll try it because I like beer. And there’s no such thing as a thing that will stop me from trying new beer.
Also, I couldn’t think of a way to refer to this as uncanny. So you were saved that, Blogtown.
Naysayers unite! While I normally try to restrain my increasing get-off-my-lawn-you-damn-kids propensity, I’m happy to see beer-astute Portlanders are as skeptical as I.
If the beer’s good, though, I may Romney on the issue.
I stand with Ned because I stand for fun and pointy things!
PS. Axes don’t generally stab… but I would definitely try to open a beer can with a halberd if I had one.
Retrospection for haters: The beer WAS awesome, Adrien Grenier WAS there, and the cans were really cool too. Also, they are a million times easier to carry more than two of without spilling.
Next on tap – 78 rpm records and wax cylinders, because LPs are OVER!
Three words (or one word and two words hyphenated to make one word): hipster-ass shit