A friend asked me for help last night: She works at the Doug Fir, and she’s been charged with creating a cocktail for the Stumptown Comics Festival after party—the party is technically at the Jupiter, but my understanding is that the space is beer/wine only, so the Doug Fir is operating on the assumption that some folks will be ducking over to the grown-up bar for booze now and then. (Reasonable assumption.) But my friend isn’t a huge comics fan, so she’s looking for some help creating a cocktail for the occasion.
I’m about to create some SYNERGY, guys. Ready??
I have three pairs of weekend passes to give away to the festival. It just so happens a weekend pass will get you into not only the show itself, but also Saturday’s party, featuring a “comics art battle” and awards ceremony. The three best cocktail ideas posted in the comments win the passes. (Be detailed, and be Stumptown specific—here’s the exhibitor list, if you need some inspiration.) I’ll pick winners first thing tomorrow.
In other Stumptown news: Bids are still crazy low for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund benefit dinner tomorrow, with guests Matt Wagner, Eric Powell, and Carla Speed McNeil. There are 10 tickets available and some are still going for as little as $30—which gets you not only dinner at Bridgeport, but sketches from the featured artists and a Stumptown weekend pass. The auction closes in 24 hours; bid here.
Also, tune into KBOO at 11:30 today, for an installment of Words and Pictures that begins at City Hall, as members of the Alter Egos Society fit Sam Adams for his SamDroid costume. If you’re hankering to see the mayor in a superhero costume, he’ll be wearing it at the Alter Egos booth on Saturday from 3-4 pm, as a benefit for p:ear.
How do you make a cocktail that tastes like musty-mother’s-basement?
I’m guessing you’d need to start with a really peaty Islayan whisky. So I’m going to say Laphroaig. Mix that with some Mtn Dew and a slight float of Malort.
Call it “The Sad Sad Truth”.
3oz Laphroaig
6oz Mtn Dew (Okay, lets be serious here, Moutain Dew is nasty. I’d recommend instead using The Ginger People’s Lemon Ginger Beer [http://www.gingerpeople.com/ginger-beverag…])
Stirred and then strained neat into a highball glass.
Add 1/8 oz Malort as float
Garnish with half wheel of citrus.
NERD-PROM FOR LOSERS PUNCH.
So essentially is the one weekend of the year when the sweaty damp comicnerds can leave their hobbit holes and get drunk and make poor life decisions. In situations like this, it’s best to have a large amount of pre-made drinks to allow them to work through either their crippling self-doubt or their infuriating Aspberger’s Syndrome Traits.
All right, because we’re going to want to get these nerds as drunk as possible as quickly as possible, we’re gonna start with the most basic of all drink ingrediants; Simple Syrup. Next up, I guess we should make sure that these nerds aren’t getting scurvy and add some lemon juice. But don’t bother fresh-squeezing this stuff. Just buy the bottles of it from TJs. So now to the hard boozey stuff; these nerds don’t have discerning pallates, so don’t bother with top-shelf booze. The closer to the ground the bottle is in the store, the better. So gin is cheap, right? Lets get some gin, Gordons is just fine. Next up we need something fruity to make this crap even more palatable to the nerds. Lets try for some pomegranate liqueor. That sounds classy, hmm? You could get Pama Liqueor, but that’s a waste of money in this case. Just get some Dekuyper. Cut up some citrus fruit or buy a container of fruit salad from the grocery store and throw that shit in there. Chill. Dump in a bag of ice to chill the swill and call it good.
8oz Simple syrup
8oz Lemon juice
750ml Gin
750ml Pomegranate liqeuor
1 lemon cut into rounds
1 orange cut into rounds
1 bag of ice.
The Flash – Drink it down quick, super-quick, in a high-ball glass.
This drink is dedicated to Barry Allen AKA The Flash. My favorite fast-talkin’ wing-booted super friend. This drink will get you shmammered faster than any drink named after Superman. The egg is for the protein after your jugular workout. The blood orange is for outfit color. Plus he wouldn’t be a pulp comic without a little extra pulp.
3 Parts Orange Flavored Brandy
3 Parts Gin
6 Parts Campari
3 Parts Grapefruit Juice
3 Parts Blood Orange Juice (lot of pulp)
1 Part Egg White
1 Splash Grenadine
1 Lemon Garnish (Preferably cut in zig-zag)
1 Mint Leaf
“The Avenger”
A shot of whiskey with a whiskey back.
The Axe Cop, high energy, high concept: 1 part rye whiskey to 2 parts Jolt Cola, on the rocks.
The Kiala Queen of Nerds Cocktail
So somehow this Kiala Kazebee woman (twitter.com/kiala) has convinced the teeming masses that she is their Queen (something like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Bee_(co…).)
Using my hidden spies and resources, I have discovered that this dastardly Kiala drinks one thing and one thing only: The Kiala Queen of Nerds Cocktail. The drink is deceptivley simple, yet takes a lifetime to master (drinking with Kiala is like playing Go). The basis for this drink will vary depending on the phases of the moon. Usually it’ll be ginger ale, but every once in while it will be diet cola (when it changes is an arcane science best not examined by mere mortals). The second ingrediant is Maker’s Mark. If Maker’s isn’t available, punch someone till it becomes available. Now for the most impoartant part of the drink. The incantation. It is neccesary to say, “In a tall glass” and to make the hand gesture of both hands held parallel to the ground, palms facing each other and about six inches apart.
3oz Makers Mark
8oz Mixer
Ice
Served in a pint glass.
@graham
THIS IS ALL TRUE NAME YOUR SPY* OR BE NERD DAMNED.
*Anyone named Ben or Graham.
I should say I realize I am prolly ineligible to win AND I already have tix. I just like drinking!
I would like an Avenger right about now…
Once when playing D&D me and some friends realized that all we had in the house was Old Crow whiskey and some Mountain Dew. We mixed it together and called it a Magic Missile. It was surprisingly tolerable.
Comic related? Not really, but I once got a whole room of nerds drinking said odious concoction.
Okay, one more Stumptown-y:
The Witch Doctor
Integrity Absinthe with New Deal Vodka instead of water. Shoot it down. Afterwards, you’ll feel like a thing possessed.
The Slow Goon Fizz
Slow with a w. For a slow goon. Why are we still talking.
1 slug Canadian Club Whiskey: The Bootleggers Friend.
1/2 slug lemon juice
A pincha supra-fine sugar (for dames and such)
1 glug siphon soda
Preparation:Put everything but the last bit in a shaker.Shake the shaker.Strain into a highball glass with ice. Put the soda in.Stir well or don’t, I could give a fig.
A Slow Goon with Franky
Same as above, with a cowardly but endearing beer back.
Um, this is amazing.
So – as it’s the first Stumptown comic fest for Scott Kurtze – I’m going to go with . .
The PvP Skull
½ oz vodka
½ oz tequila
½ oz rum
½ oz blue curacao
2 oz sour mix
2 oz lemonade
Perhaps a cherry on top for giggles.
Add vodka, tequila, rum, blue curacao, sour mix to an ice filled glass then pour in lemonade – stir – drink – and attempt to not fall down when drinking has ceased.
Just a note of fun – Another drink name I have come up with, but unfortunately have no appropriate (not disgusting) cocktail mix for is.. Clumsy Crohns.. for Jeffrey Brown. This amuses me as I would love to watch someone go to a bar and say ‘can i have a Clumsy Crohns?’
Thanks for playing!
Colleen Coover’s Ginger Buck Girl:
11/2 oz gin
1/4 oz lemon juice
4 oz (or to taste) ginger ale
Mix in a highball glass with ice. Add an orange wedge for a snappy color contrast and a sensuous yet proportional feminine curve.
Paul Tobin’s Ginger Buck Girl:
Same as above but with a frilly little umbrella. Because a) everyone likes those and b) don’t get hung up on gender roles.
And finally:
The How to Understand Israel
1 Shot of Slivovitz
Repeat as necessary.
@atomic: I had this contest all sewn up till you poked your head in. Dagnabit; I was gonna win ’em all too!
@kabaeher85, isn’t that just an Adios Motherfucker?
Folks nerdier than I have pontificated on several “The Goon” themed cocktails here:
http://www.darkhorse.com/Help/Boards/viewt…
I still think mine was the best. You know…there is something to be said for simplicity.
Harrumph.
The Dark Knight
• 1-1/2 oz. Sambuca
• 4 oz. Cola
• 1/2 oz. Homemade Grenadine
• Maraschino Cherry Garnish
Build in a highball glass over ice, topping off with grenadine as float. Garnish with maraschino cherry.
The Incredible Hulk
• 2 oz. Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum
• 1tbsp Sugar
• 2 L bottle of Mountain Dew
Add the Captain Morgan to a glass with sugar, then add Mountain Dew until the mix turns green.
The Incredible Hulk (alternate version)
• 2 oz. Cognac
• 2 ox. Hpnotiq liqueur
Mix together with crushed ice in a glass and garnish with mint leaves.
Iron Man Cocktail
• 3 oz. Vodka
• 7 oz. Whiskey
• 5 ice cubes
• Soda Water
Mix vodka and whiskey in an old-fashioned glass. Stir. Add a few ice cubes, fill with soda water and stir gently.
Spider-Man
• 1.0 oz. Cherry Liqueur
• 1.0 oz. Raspberry Liqueur
• 2.0 oz. Tequila • 0.125 packet Pop Rocks
Mix cherry liqueur raspberry liqueur, and Tequila in average sized glass, add pop rocks.
Superman
• 1/3 oz. Schnapps, peach
• 1/3 oz. Rum, coconut
• 1/3 oz. Triple Sec
• 1 splash Grenadine
• Fill with Pineapple Juice
Fill glass with ice, add equal parts rum, peach schnapps and triple sec. Fill with pineapple juice, stir. Top with grenadine.
Wonder Woman
• 2 oz. Midori melon liqueur
• 2 oz. Peach schnapps
• 3 oz. Orange juice
• 1 oz. Pineapple juice
• 2 oz. Cranberry juice
Fill hurricane glass with ice. Add ingredients in order listed. Don’t stir! Should have three layers; green, orange, and red. Garnish with a cherry.
Wolverine
• 1 beer
• 1 shot lemon rum
Pour shot into glass of beer, drink before your healing factor can reject it.
Thor’s Hammer
• 4 oz. Vodka
• 5 oz. Cranberry juice
• 3 oz. Lager
Stir ingredients together in a highball glass and serve.
Shazam Shooter
• 1 shot Apple Schnapps
• 1 shot Raspberry Liqueur
• 3/4 oz Ice
• (Fill to Top) Cranberry Juice
Add all ingredients to shaker. Shake to chill. Strain out ice and pour into glass.
– all from comics alliance – http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/09/30/comic-book-cocktails-super-hero-inspired-booze-you-can-use/
The Dark Knight
• 1-1/2 oz. Sambuca
• 4 oz. Cola
• 1/2 oz. Homemade Grenadine
• Maraschino Cherry Garnish
Build in a highball glass over ice, topping off with grenadine as float. Garnish with maraschino cherry.
The Incredible Hulk
• 2 oz. Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum
• 1tbsp Sugar
• 2 L bottle of Mountain Dew
Add the Captain Morgan to a glass with sugar, then add Mountain Dew until the mix turns green.
The Incredible Hulk (alternate version)
• 2 oz. Cognac
• 2 ox. Hpnotiq liqueur
Mix together with crushed ice in a glass and garnish with mint leaves.
Iron Man Cocktail
• 3 oz. Vodka
• 7 oz. Whiskey
• 5 ice cubes
• Soda Water
Mix vodka and whiskey in an old-fashioned glass. Stir. Add a few ice cubes, fill with soda water and stir gently.
Spider-Man
• 1.0 oz. Cherry Liqueur
• 1.0 oz. Raspberry Liqueur
• 2.0 oz. Tequila • 0.125 packet Pop Rocks
Mix cherry liqueur raspberry liqueur, and Tequila in average sized glass, add pop rocks.
Superman
• 1/3 oz. Schnapps, peach
• 1/3 oz. Rum, coconut
• 1/3 oz. Triple Sec
• 1 splash Grenadine
• Fill with Pineapple Juice
Fill glass with ice, add equal parts rum, peach schnapps and triple sec. Fill with pineapple juice, stir. Top with grenadine.
Wonder Woman
• 2 oz. Midori melon liqueur
• 2 oz. Peach schnapps
• 3 oz. Orange juice
• 1 oz. Pineapple juice
• 2 oz. Cranberry juice
Fill hurricane glass with ice. Add ingredients in order listed. Don’t stir! Should have three layers; green, orange, and red. Garnish with a cherry.
Wolverine
• 1 beer
• 1 shot lemon rum
Pour shot into glass of beer, drink before your healing factor can reject it.
Thor’s Hammer
• 4 oz. Vodka
• 5 oz. Cranberry juice
• 3 oz. Lager
Stir ingredients together in a highball glass and serve.
Shazam Shooter
• 1 shot Apple Schnapps
• 1 shot Raspberry Liqueur
• 3/4 oz Ice
• (Fill to Top) Cranberry Juice
Add all ingredients to shaker. Shake to chill. Strain out ice and pour into glass.
– all from comics alliance – http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/09/30/c…
How about the Greg Rucka Ruckus Maker. Dex, the under paid and over punched heroine detective of our namesake Stumptown comic, could use this at the end of a rough night.
Shot: half Pepper vodka, half cinnamon schnapps with a drop of wasabi in the bottom.
Chaser: low ball of your favorite French press on ice.
A nice hot shot and cold coffee.
Ramona Flowers
1.5 oz aviation gin
.5 oz st.germain
Top with tonic
….change color frequently with the help of food coloring.
Well, when Witch Doctor had a reading last year at Someday Lounge’s Incubator… They had a drink called “Disinfectant”, which was simply good whiskey neat with a cotton swab in it. I’m still surprised they didn’t run out of whiskey that night!
In homage to Erika Moen: “Ramming Speed”… Sugar-rimmed shot of rum with grenadine floated on top. Alternately, the same drink but with colored sugar called the “Rim Job”. 🙂