Take a look. Yep. It’s what you think it is:
Whisky in a can.
Despite the name, Scottish Spirits is not Scottish. Rather, it’s a Panamanian company that’s crammed 12 delicious ounces of whisk(e)y into a can. Other liquor producers are angry—but not because it holds enough hooch to get two stout men tipsy as lords, all while coming in a container that cannot, in any way, be re-closed and saved for later. Seriously, how much faster do you get through a can than a bottle, by virtue of the fact that the top’s been popped for good?
Actually, the makers of real Scotch (the Scottish stuff, made by Scots in Scotland) are upset that the beverage’s name is misleading. (It’s not real Scottish Scotch in that can; it’s Panamanian Scotch, whatever that is, made in Panama and not Scotland, which I gather would very much like to have appellation contrôlée on the word “Scotch.”) As of now, there’s no way to get a crisp, cool refreshing can of Scottish Spirits Scotch outside of Panama, and I can only venture that is a good thing. Can you imagine someone dragging a half-rack of this to the river come summertime? And the shotgunning—oh, the shotgunning!
This is the best idea ever!
During product development someone obviously said:
“Hey, that looks all like an official seal or something. You know, ‘lions rampant’ and all that. We need a motto for it! Slap on the only Latin phrase anyone knows. Yeah. That shit about conquering and then coming. Or whatever. ‘Veni’ somthing. Yeah. Spackle that thing to the logo so it looks all storied and European. Oh yeah. It’s got Latin now. This can is classy as fuck, bitches. Latin!”
Is this in retaliation to the 4loko ban?
People gon’ die, i say, people gon’ die!
This is causing all sorts of cognitive dissonance in my brain.
Everyone knows if it comes in a can, you HAVE to drink it in one sitting; preferably in a single gulp. More things that make you vomit should come in a can!
The Jameson Juice Box was a better idea: http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/Blogto…
It’s called Pantch.
Central America does booze right.
See also, Cuba Libre–rum and coke in a can and my drink of choice whilst in Costa Rica. I couldn’t stop thinking how overwhelmingly more drunk the streets would be if legal in the US.
I’ll try it. Can’t be worse than Tunisian Lowenbrau.
As for the Latin, that’s first-semester stuff. It means “He came, he saw, he conked out.” Well, close enough.
Do they need a marketing slogan?
A MAN
CAN
Yes, they need to pay me if they want to use it.
SHOTGUN!
Small time. I’m not impressed until it comes in a bag, a la Capri Sun.