It’s a scientific fact: DRUNK PEOPLE ARE FUNNY! (Especially me. One time when I was drunk, I broke into a department store and posed like a mannequin in the window, which was super hilarious. Until I was arrested.) Anyway, here are some drunk cute people (wildly preferred to drunk ugly and mean people) cracking themselves up with alcohol fueled shenanigans.

DRUNK DANCING HULA HOOP GIRL DOES LIVELY ANIMAL MIMICRY!

DRUNK ELMO IMPERSONATOR ORDERS AT TACO BELL DRIVE-THROUGH!

Dear “these people”: Call me. I want to hang out.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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