Hot-poop Mercury freelancer Kiala Kazebee is working on a fun article possibly titled “WHO IS PORTLAND’S BEST KJ?” (You know, the people who spin the karaoke discs at your favorite bars.) And she needs your help! In the comments below, let us know your nominations for Portland’s Best KJ—and while I know you will do your best to remain objective, I’m not expecting miracles.

Here’s Kiala’s list of her current faves in no particular order:

1. Sean – The Hutch on Holgate

2. David – The Alibi

3. Dan – Chopsticks II

4. Luke – Chopsticks III

5. The Captain – Joe’s Cellar

6. Whoever the hell at Yen Ha (no one would answer their goddamn phone).

You can also weigh in on the criteria for what makes a great KJ (or a crappy KJ)—but try to be nice! (Once again, I’m managing expectations.)

YOUR SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE!

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

28 replies on “Who is Portland’s Best KJ?”

  1. I forget the name, but the KJ at the Paragon was good. I think she’s moved on to the Interstate Bar & Grill…

  11. I like a KJ that 1) doesn’t sing too much, 2) encourages singers to do crazy shit, 3) doesn’t show too much favoritism to his/her friends, and 3) isn’t a rule nazi. Really? I can’t have a smoke or a drink and sing at the same time?

  13. Here’s what makes a KJ great:
    1)Encouraging to even the less gifted performers 2)Fair to all, even new comers 3)Honest about the possible wait times 4)Understanding of the fact that not everybody can afford to dump in $5 a song, and appreciative when people tip what they are able 5)Looks as though he/she is enjoying themself 6)asks Kiala to sing “Hey Mickey” even though it’s one of his/her least favorite songs in the world 🙂

  14. Oh yes…and I agree with J.J. on the KJ singing. I don’t go out and spend $$$ to watch the KJ sing. I understand that some venues have policies in place to allow them some chances, but I believe they should be limited to just a couple of songs a night… unless they’re asked for back-up on a duet or sumpthin’

  15. Ohhhh hell I can’t remember her name. I’m so ashamed.

    But the woman at Ambassador gets my vote. She’s super-friendly and gives everyone a fair shot at singing. Also, the Ambassador has a computer screen that lets you know when your turn is next.

    She handles my friends and I showing up once a week and handing her half-a-dozen requests (on slow nights) with grace and skill.

    She also sings a few songs a night–and she’s got good pipes.

    I’m also going to vote for Tamra at The Egyptian Room ’cause she’s a friend of mine–I’ve only seen her work once, though.

  16. More “non-starter” rules: KJ should not sing or insert “music” songs if there are 15 people in rotation. Yes, I’m talking about you, sir. You know who you are. Man, that upsets me. Karaoke should be back-to-back customer singing once the rotation gets long enough. Let me say this again: no spacer songs.

  17. #1) Sean from The Hutch is actually the reason that I and my quite sizable group of friends don’t go there anymore. He seems to think he’s a real DJ in-between songs and more often than not sings along with those songs in their entirety. He also often takes it upon himself to sing back-up for you, whether you want it or not. He has a lovely voice, but he should wait his fucking turn like everyone else. He could easily cycle twice as many singers through in an evening if he we shut up and just call people up. Nobody cares at ALL that he can sing along with his iPod.

    #2) Dr. Love (aka Rob Campbell) at The Boiler Room is the exact opposite of Sean and therefore kicks ass.

    #3) Dick at Suki’s also keeps things moving nicely while repeating the EXACT SAME schick inbetween singers every single night. Awesome in a way that John Waters would worship.

  18. Kellyn (I think that’s how you spell her name) at the Ambassador. I think she also KJ’s at the Galaxy but I don’t remember what nights. She’s fun to talk to, and not snooty or intimidating. She usually sings one or two songs a night.

    She’s got great taste in music, is fair to everyone and doesn’t play favorites as far as the rotation goes. And she does awesome duets with her friends and her boyfriend. Sometimes I’ll be ready to go home and she and someone else will start singing and I have to stay for that one song.

  20. Kellyn at the Ambassador. She’s friendly, fair, a good singer and she can organize 10 of your slips at a time no problem.

  24. I tried to sing backup for a friend at the Galaxy and the lady wouldn’t give me the mic unless I gave her a dollar. I thought that was shitty.

  26. Steven from both Chopsticks locations gets my vote. Not only was he my KJ mentor, but he also has the best booth charisma and energy of any KJ I’ve seen. Additionally, he does better sound than anyone else, actually learning repeat singer’s idiosyncrasies and promoting them from the start of their song to the finish. Another plus with Steven is that he uses his spectacular voice sparingly throughout the evening, putting customers first; always.

  28. Aww guys, I’m blushing so hard right now.

    While I could probably fill a small novel with the philosophies of good karaoke, I place strong emphasis on the following concepts:

    -Karaoke should straddle the fine line between ironic and completely serious.

    -Karaoke is not about not sucking.

    -Fights rarely happen at karaoke bars because it sucks to beat somebody up while “Love Shack” is your background music.

    I can’t really go into what makes a good KJ ’cause it would be like blowing smoke up my own ass, which is quite complicated, believe me.

    I love you kids.

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