I kind of hate political debates. They’re stiff, they’re formal, they turn political candidates into soundbite machines who have to pack their one-minute rebuttals with maximum quips. So for the Portland mayor’s race, we’re not hosting a debate. We’re hosting an inquisition!
Come on down to Rontoms to watch an event that will resemble a smart conversation between humans rather than badminton between political robots. Bring your own questions! And a lust for alcohol! Speaking of which, if you have any questions you particularly want us to ask onstage, feel free to drop them in the comments. I realize this is opening us up to a comment thread demanding we ask Jefferson Smith about the color of his underwear or something, but at least try to keep it relevant.
I’m running as a write-in candidate with a “no to fluoridation/yes to weekly trash pickup” platform. (Also, I’d ban any unicycle taller than the average Trailblazer.)
YOU MEAN I GET TO SPEND A TUESDAY EVENING SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY ON A RELATIVELY DISAPPOINTING TAP SELECTION AND TERRIBLE FOOD WHILE LISTENING TO THESE TWO JOKERS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THEY CAN MANAGE THE CITY BETTER THAN THEIR TRIVIAL AND DODGY CAMPAIGNS? SIGN ME UP!!!
For a good time at Rontoms, order any cocktail fancier than a highball and witness the bartender’s confusion, then the resulting drink.
ASK THEM WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THEIR MEDIOCRE APATHETIC CAMPAIGNS FOR A WEAK MAYORAL JOB.
Watch out for nut-punches, Charlie!
Oh good, we so infrequently get to hear Jon Maus’ opinion