We’re gearing up for our Mayoral Inquisition this Tuesday night at Rontoms and have an important question: What words or phrases should we ban from the conversation?
The point of the Inquisition is to get mayoral candidates Jefferson Smith and Charlie Hales out of campaign-pat-answers-soundbite mode and into having an actual conversation. In that interest, we want to ban some things from being uttered. For example: Portlandia jokes. Portlandia jokes will be banned. Long-winded metahpors, especially ones referencing Where the Red Fern Grows, will be banned. What other things should we nix in the sake of quality conversation?
Equity, sustainability, Trailblazers, beer, food carts, bikes (sorry Maus).
Can we ban both candidates and start over from scratch?
STEVE R ALREADY POACHED MOST OF THE GOOD ONES.
“AT THE TABLE”
“STAKEHOLDERS”
THAT STUPID JOKE THAT SMITH SAYS ABOUT “BEING ONLY PARTIALLY FULL OF SHIT”. I’M NOT SURE WHAT VERBAL TICS HALES HAS, BUT BAN THEM WHATEVER THEY ARE.
EVERY TIME A CANDIDATE SAYS ONE OF THE BAD WORDS, SHOCK THEM IN THE GENITALS WITH AN ELECTRIC PROD.
“jobs for the middle class” without any reference to the poor (the former implying “lower class”); Portland Timbers and RCTID; +1 on “at the table” and “stakeholders”; also, “moving forward” (“forward” by itself is OK)
Make it really interesting and ban the phrase “these tough economic times.” I want someone to have to describe what’s going on using their brain muscle.
I second the extremely well thought out idea of using electric shock to underscore the seriousness of the ban.
Electric shock is clearly inhumane. Seating them on blocks of ice, though, could be entertaining.
“Back to basics” or anything about “filling potholes first”! (Charlie, I’m looking at you.)
On the other side of the coin I’d be happy to hear mention of the word “VISION”, something that has been sorely lacking in this lackluster race.
I agree with the already mentioned phrases, and I would add “thought leader,” including in any introductions. That phrase must die.
“things”. “Fifty shades of” anything. “Vision”.
“Fluoride is POISON”
“Fluoride lobby”
“Big Fluoride”
“Youtube expert”
“Portland Teeth”
Boner in Sweatpants! Wait, what?
“right size”
“benevolently irrational”
Any juxtapositional statement about the CRC that frames the other candidate’s position on the project.
NEW FORMAT SUGGESTION: Each candidate slow dances with each voter and tenderly whispers his policy plans into his partner’s ear.
@Commenty Colin: Are you sure you’re game for that? If so, I’m adding you slow dancing as a pre-show to the Inquisition.