A Legal Notice to Cease and Desist from Wm. Steven Humphrey

Dear person reading this:

It has come to my attention there have been a number of you—let’s say that number is “eight”—who have been flagrantly stealing and repeating my newest copyrighted catchphrase, “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!” This phrase was created solely by me yesterday as I was leaving work. As you may or may not know, every day when I’m leaving the office, I make sure to flip off the interns. Yesterday, my exit was especially grand because I rode my skateboard past the interns’ station, and flipped both of them off simultaneously, while yelling, “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!” (Note: It has since come to my attention that one of the people I screamed “Hasta La Vista Buttholes!” to was the brand new intern named “Charmaine,” who apparently is a nice person, a recent high school graduate and someone I have not been formally introduced to yet. But I’ll get around to it eventually, I’m sure.) This exit would’ve been my most perfect yet had the hallway not been blocked by Sarah Mirk’s idiot tall bike, which caused me to crash headlong into the office’s six-foot tall cardboard cut-out of Jar Jar Binks. Who parks their tall bike in the middle of a hallway?? And what business in their right mind would actually pay money—in this economy!— for a cardboard cutout of Jar Jar Binks?? Anyway.

While I realize that “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!” is the greatest catchphrase ever conceived in the history of the universe, you should know that it is the sole intellectual property of Wm. Steven Humphrey, and therefore you are forbidden from ever saying the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers! aloud in any context whatsoever.

Now because I realize Blogtown readers are the most vengeful, sneaky dickholes in the galaxy, I will elaborate on the specifics of this cease and desist order:
1) In addition, you may not whisper the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!”
2) You may not silently mouth the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!”
3) You may not write, type, use sign language, illustrate via any artistic medium, or transmit electronically the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!”
4) You may not somewhat change the phrase “Hasta La Vista Buttfuckers!”—such as “Hasta La Vista, Assporkers!” or “Asta luego, bunghole diddlers.”
5) You may not translate and then say the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!” (Example: “Until later, culo hijo de puta!” Or “Csak később, szamár szemét!”)
6) I can’t think of anything else.
7) OH. I suppose it’s okay to think the phrase “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!”
8) But whatever you do, DO NOT SAY THE PHRASE “HASTA LA VISTA, BUTTFUCKERS!” It’s mine. Buttfuckers.

Sincerely,
Wm. Steven Humphrey
Originator and Sole Owner of “Hasta La Vista, Buttfuckers!”