During my daily inscrutable search of the internet, I stumbled upon the following site entitled NUKEMAP—in which you can choose a number of international cities to nuke from above (using Google Maps, of course). Naturally, I immediately chose Brooklyn, quickly picked the type of nuke I wanted to drop on it (again naturally, the “Fat Man,” a 20kt bomb used in Nagasaki), and without a second thought hit the “Detonate” button. Here’s what happened:

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And here are the predicted effects of such a blast:

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Okay, and now I feel like a dick. One, because I chose to blow up Brooklyn without a second thought, and two, I’m kind of disappointed it didn’t have a “KA-BOOOOOM!” sound effect. SORRY, BROOKLYN!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

8 replies on “Okay, So I Just Dropped a Nuke on Brooklyn and I Feel Kind of Bad About It”

  1. Oh wow Steve, that’s terrible. Think of the children. Or rather, think of how the “Incinerated Corpses Shrunk to the Size of Children!”

  4. You blew up the wrong part of Brooklyn. You blew up the african american neighborhoods southeast of prospect park. You should have went for Williamsburg or Park Slope.

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