Yes, I know I’ve already solved this problem at least once. But who’s to say it doesn’t have thousands… maybe BILLIONS of solutions? However! I must admit I’m shocked that Comcast (of all companies) would come up with an idea that could easily be the solution to our Sam Adams problem. From the Arizona Daily Star:

A pornographic clip that interrupted thousands of local Comcast subscribers’ Super Bowl broadcast was the result of an “isolated malicious act,” a company spokeswoman said Monday.

In light of the incident, Comcast says it will issue a $10 credit to any customers who say they viewed the 30-second clip, which featured full male nudity.

“While this credit won’t change what happened, we hope it’ll demonstrate to the customers and the Tucson community how seriously we’re taking this situation,” spokeswoman Kelle Maslyn said.

Now, does a big wang waggling in your face compare to a public official lying to your face? Mmmm… sure! Sounds about right to me. So the way I see it, Sam owes every person who voted for him ten bucks. (FINE. Or he could give it to charity. SNORE!)

On a related note, do you think we can get Comcast to give us ten bucks for continuing to air Two and a Half Men?

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

15 replies on “Sam Adams Problem Solved… Again!”

  2. Anything to justify having a pedophile in office! When republicans do it: bad! When gay mayors do it: Leave him alone!

  3. The anonymous troll, 3.SrIZgXIn-94wlXob+TM*mLQxO?qXv^53.CJPq8&n&9TxsQWuEHZC:YlqeLUD&S, reminds us yet again that for many Adams critics, it’s all about the (alleged) sex.

  4. Yeah, whoever random-character-username is he/she does bring up the one point that I still have mixed feelings on. If Sam were an anti-gay, pro-business, Christian Republican who kissed a 17 year old female intern and later asked her to lie their relationship after she turned 18….the people of Portland would be outside of City Hall with torches and pitchforks.

  5. Sorry,

    The only way this story is going to die is for Sam to resign or a long painful recall that is going to deeply divide our city. We really wish he would resign.

    Fear not, Bob R., for we are focusing on the lying, ethical lapses and any election law violations.

    RecallSamAdams.com

  7. It seems like a more apt analogy would be for media sources that exposed us to this harrowing saga of sex and public betrayal to all pay us $10. If you could put send that check in the mail asap, that would be great. Thanks. I think that’s a fair price for having to look at the same 5 commenters make the same arguments in every Sam Adams post 5 billion times. AmIright?

  9. “it’s all about the (alleged) sex.”

    That term is used by defendants to cast doubt as to whether the incident in question in fact occurred. So how is it “alleged” Bob, when both parties have admitted to it?

  12. GLV –

    Both participants have NOT admitted to sex prior to the age of 18. That is the _alleged_ part from some critics and anonymous hearsay. Please note that I was responding directly to someone tossing around the word “pedophile”, which doesn’t even apply to the situation at all. It was entirely appropriate to use the word “alleged” in response. Try to keep up.

  13. Fuck you Bob, you self-aggrandizing prick. You said “the (alleged) sex.” When people have admitted to it, there’s nothing alleged about it. Do try and keep up, asshole.

  15. “Fuck you Bob, you self-aggrandizing prick. You said “the (alleged) sex.”

    Thanks for keeping it civil, GLV. Please also note that I included full reference to the comment to which I was replying, which provided plenty of context. You asked me a direct question, while accusing me of something I wasn’t doing, and I replied thusly. Apparently you couldn’t handle it. Touchy touchy.

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