ROLLER DERBY—Are you ready for some hot derby action? Then join our Rose City Rollers as they open their 10th season with two rough ‘n’ tumble home-team bouts: First it’s tough-as-nails High Rollers vs. the aptly named Heartless Heathers. Then it’s time for current champs, the Break Neck Betties, to give the always-formidable Guns N Rollers the fight of their lives! Don’t miss a single second of the fun! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 5:45 pm, $14-20, all ages
SEXY STORIES—Storytelling events may be a dime a dozen in this town—but only one focuses
specifically on SEX. It’s the Mystery Box Show, featuring true, hilarious, and sometimes harrowing stories that cover the entire sexual spectrum. Tonight’s guests include comic book g nius Matt Fraction, and the Mercury‘s own Marjorie Skinner… who has some STORIES, believe you me! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7 pm, $14-16